Glasswork
by Komine
Summary: There's only so much the mind can take before it breaks down, turns off and shatters. SI-ish!Reincarnated Male!OC, Heavy AU in future chapters.
1. Whisper

I'm alive. I have some reasons, some excuses as to why I disappeared for a year. But let's get to the point.

I'm going to rewrite _Glasswork_. I don't like how I had it set up previously (inconsistent and full of exposition), nor do I like how I was planning for it to pan out. My writing style has also changed considerably so it would be awkward if I simply continued as well.

The old chapters have been deleted. The first two chapters of the rewritten version will cover all the plot written in the four chapters written for the previous version. It will also include new scenes and changes so it's not just a complete regurgitation of the previous plot.

I hope you like the new version! Let me know what you guys think of it. [Note: If you've commented on previous chapters of the story, FF might not let you post a new review. You can either post it as anonymous or send me an inbox. Thanks!]

* * *

 **Glasswork**

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto is not mine.  
 **Warning:** There will be M/M in future chapters.

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The academy grounds is loud, too loud.

Yamanaka Inokazu finds that he doesn't particularly understand or enjoy the excitement and enthusiasm permeating the academy grounds. The rowdy children, the chattering adults and the groaning instructors. He has his nose in a book, one a little too sophisticated for his age, frowning slightly at the screams, giggles and yells that grate his ears.

"Kazu, you should go make friends." His mother encourages him, one hand on his shoulder and one hand supporting his younger sister.

Baby little Ino squirms slightly, arms stretched for the older brother out of her reach. Kazu reaches up and meets Ino's little chubby hands with his own hand. The tiny hand wraps around his finger and a gurgle of laughter escapes Ino's mouth. He gives his mother a small smile as he pokes Ino in the cheeks slightly.

Maybe he should, make friends that is. But with an offhanded look at the rambunctious children in front of him, Kazu struggles to find the motivation. He gazes up lazily at his mother and takes in the bright smile on her face. His lips part slightly, a string of protest on the tip of his tongue, but he ends up swallowing them in favour of a brief sigh.

He makes his way to the crowd after bidding goodbye to his mother and his sister. He talks to one of the instructors standing to the side and they point him to one of the various lines of waiting children.

Make friends, his mother said, but he doesn't see anyone he wants to talk to.

They all seem ecstatic, a sentiment that Kazu doesn't share. It's almost a year since he started his training into the shinobi arts so this isn't new. His father insists that he shows talent in said arts. Kazu shrugs, indifferent.

He isn't partial to either idea - being a ninja or not being one. But his parents seem perfectly set on him becoming a ninja, as if it is the natural order of things, so he listens. It probably is, given that his father was a clan head. Not the clan head of a noble clan but a clan head nonetheless. And one with a reputation in their own field.

" _The Brain, the Mind and the Conscious_? What sort of book is that?"

Kazu lowers his book and looks at the girl who approaches him. She's a little taller than him, red hair tied up in two pigtails and a small smile on her face.

"It looks hard," she continues, flitting over next to him and peering at the pages. "Do you understand all this?"

"It's not that hard."

"Hmm…" she loses interest quickly. "I'm Airi. What's your name?"

Airi. No last name given means that it's likely she isn't from a clan family. Clan children always give their last name since, it's a symbol of pride and status.

"Yamanaka Inokazu."

"Huh?" Airi takes a step back and frowns at him. "You're a boy? But you look like a girl!"

He gives her a wry smile. With his long pale blonde hair, big pale emerald eyes, heart shaped face, high cheekbones and thin eyebrows, Kazu is rather used to being mistaken as a girl. "I'm not a girl."

He half expects Airi to lose interest and walk away at that point but to his surprise, she seems intrigued. She doesn't say anything but Kazu shifts uncomfortably under her scrutinising stare.

He is saved, thank the gods, when the instructors demands their attentions and asks them to get in line. Airi gives him a half wave before moving to a line three rows down. She quickly enters a conversation with the girl next to her.

Kazu wonders why she came over in the first place.

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Sorted into their classes, Kazu's other classmates find friends easily. He doesn't. It doesn't bother him much until he remembers his mother's words and he frowns. Alright, maybe it bothers him just a bit.

By the end of the day, however, he decides he'll just have to disappoint his mother. Making friends seems too hard a task for someone who actively avoids social interactions with children his age.

"I'm home." He calls out when he gets home, the front door sliding open with ease. It surprises him that the door isn't locked. His mother should still be at the flower shop with Ino. "Father? Are you home?"

Silence greets him.

Kazu notices two extra pairs of shoes at the genkan. Perhaps they have guests.

"Father?" Kazu calls out again, making his way down the corridor.

He finds them - his father and guests - later. They're in the tea room, tension thick in the hiroma, interrupted by Kazu sliding the door open. There are two men in the room and a boy.

The man that's not his father - looks way older, uglier and has a bandage over his one eye - stares at Kazu with an expression that calls him a _mannerless rascal_. Kazu knows him as one of the higher ranking officials of the village, he's seen the man standing with the Hokage during celebrations. Kazu's gaze is drawn to the boy in the room. He recognises the boy as part of the clan, Kazu has seen him around.

Kazu's father, Yamanaka Inoichi, looks alarmed from the other side of the room, gaze swapping quickly between Kazu and the other man.

"Sorry for intruding," Kazu finds his voice in the end, stepping back and shutting the shoji. He doesn't realise until he's back in his room and taking deep breaths that he forgot to bow.

He waits for his father to reprimand him but Inoichi doesn't mention it throughout the rest of the day. Kazu knocks on his father's door after dinner, waiting for punishment, but when he brings up the topic, Inoichi shakes his head and doesn't address it.

The topic drops.

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He struggles in his sleep that night, nightmare after nightmare washing over him. He dreams of fire, a tea shop with weird decorations that serves drinks that aren't tea, books and a large library, a metal contraption falling from the sky (how is it up in the first place?), an invisible cage - a large dome that he's stuck inside, and a girl with a sad smile. He's never seen her, but she haunts his dreams.

Tonight, she leaves his dreams with a whisper in the air. A name and a warning, but Kazu doesn't know who it is and what it is for.

He wakes up screaming with his father kneeling next to him. His fingernails dig into Inoichi's palms, fingers trembling and the tips turning white. Inoichi hands him a glass of water and he drinks it in large gulps, blinking the sweat from his eyes and ignoring the burning sensation at the back of his throat.

Inoichi asks what he dreamed about. Kazu hesitates.

A younger him would cry, spill the story to his father about the girl in his dreams and all the things that he sees from her eyes. Of a place where people fly in the sky in a metal bird, a place where technology is so advanced they have mechanical contraptions that can move and think on its own.

On the day Ino was born, the girl showed him how the village would end up in flames, of the monster that would wreak havoc on Konoha. He screamed at his parents to stop her from spouting lies but his parents only told him to calm down and go back to sleep.

"It's just a dream," they said but the comforting smiles turned to weird stares and hushed whispers less than three weeks later.

Kazu demanded an explanation from the girl when Konoha fell to the ground in the Kyuubi attack, she merely laughed and told him there's more to come.

Kazu keeps his dreams to himself since and his parents stops looking at him weirdly. They ask him about the girl in his dreams and he shakes his head and lies through his teeth, feigning ignorance. They believe him and it's almost as if she doesn't exist.

It's been two years since. She never stopped visiting.

Kazu looks up and reassures his father, telling Inoichi that it must be because it was his first day at school that he dreams about his teachers turning into giant plant monsters and spitting tests at him through huge toothed mouths. That brings out a laugh from Inoichi, it was crisp, deep and heartwarming.

It doesn't wipe away the memories of the girl and her words.

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Kazu finds himself helping his mother that weekend at the flower shop. His mother informs him about a special order and he sets off to prepare. It's an order that he's prepared various times. It used to be one bouquet, and then it became two and since a year and a half ago, three.

The bells hanging on the door chime. Kazu turns his gaze from where he is working at the counter to greet his customer. A small smile graces his lips when he sees the disheveled silver hair, lazy gaze and half a wave from Hatake Kakashi. He's a regular at the flower shop, visiting often between his missions.

"Yo, Kazu." Kakashi greets in a lazy drawl.

"Good morning, Kakashi-san. I'll get your order done soon."

Kakashi watches at the boy gets back to working, raising his hands to work on a counter that's almost as tall as him, putting together a bouquet with well practiced skill. He recalls once upon a time when, like many others Kakashi is sure, he mistook the boy for a girl. Kakashi's gaze lingers on the long lashes, the slim fingers and the loose ponytail that hangs over the boy's shoulders. It's longer than he remembers.

"You growing out your hair, Kazu?"

Kazu hums a reply, gaze not leaving the flowers. "Does it look weird?"

"No, not really."

It's quiet as Kazu puts the finishing touches to the bouquet, an accomplished twinkle in his eyes as he ties the ribbon properly. He holds out the bouquets for Kakashi to inspect.

"I really like tou-san's hair," Kazu continues, finger strands of his hair as Kakashi reaches for his wallet. "But I won't grow it that long. Kaa-chan doesn't like it, and it'll get in the way of training."

"You started at the academy?"

Kazu's face brightens at the mention and nods. "It's interesting, but it's easy. I like survival class."

"I didn't."

"Why not? The skills are interesting. We learned how to make a small trap in class the other day. For small animals."

"That's boring."

"Then teach me the interesting stuff, Kakashi-san." Kazu has a mischievous grin on his face. He takes the money from Kakashi and shoves it into the drawer. "Tou-san tells me to wait till they teach us at the academy."

"Maybe you should listen." Kakashi says before making his way out of the flower shop, "don't be too greedy."

Kazu's reply is soft, so soft that Kakashi doesn't quite catch, but he notices the difficult look in Kazu's gaze that puzzles him. It's gone quickly, a sheepish smile in its place, masking whatever was behind those sea green eyes.

"You're right. Sorry."

Kakashi lets out a sigh. "When I'm free, maybe."

Even though in Kakashi's terms, that loosely refers to 'probably never,' the smile on Kazu's face brightens like a thousand suns.

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Kazu doesn't sit alone in class but he barely talks to the people sitting next to him. The two boys fall into conversation quickly and he doesn't interrupt, focusing on the book in front of him instead. It's on the history of the shinobi nations with a large portion dedicated to the founding, history and development of Konoha, boring but informative.

It doesn't take him long before he matches the face to the name the girl told him. _Shimura Danzo_ , the man talking to his father the other day. There isn't much recorded and nothing points to why the girl left him a warning.

Maybe she's just bluffing, but the fiery ruins of the Kyuubi attack remains fresh in his mind.

He's nudged on the side. Kazu turns to the boy sitting next to him but notices the glare from his teacher at the front of classroom. His teacher is clearly unamused at the blatantly lack of attention Kazu is paying.

"Tell me, Inokazu," he points to the diagram on the board, "what technique is this?"

Kazu studies the diagram for a while, a handseal. "It's a _Katon_ technique, as can be told from the Tiger seal. The specific technique is the _Karyuudan-no-jutsu_ , a basic fire release technique."

A few more handseals are added to the diagrams, his teacher pointing at it once more, expecting an answer.

"The _Ryuka-no-jutsu_ , sensei. A C-rank technique."

His teacher concedes and moves on to the next subject, leaving some other students to stare at Kazu in awe. He shares a smile with his seatmate and tries to pay attention to class but it's boring, and things he already knows so Kazu returns to his book.

Back to the blood and the terror that was the prime of the third shinobi war.

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When lunchtime comes around, the others invite him to play at the field. Kazu declines politely and opts, instead, to venture to the sparse area of trees behind the school grounds. It's not a place many students go to, as there are more interesting places in the academy, so it provides Kazu with the peace and quiet that he prefers.

Today, his peace and quiet is interrupted. Soft footsteps alert Kazu to someone nearby but he doesn't catch a glimpse. The figure slips past him, running further into the trees and taking cover behind one of them. Kazu raises an eyebrow in confusion as he pinpoints the tree they're hiding behind and stare at it blankly.

There are more footsteps. Heavier, louder, clumsier and belonging to more than one person. He turns, gaze leaving the tree, to see three boys storming over. He's seen them around the academy, they make a big show of themselves often, but their names escape Kazu.

"Oi, you know where Itachi-sama went?" One of them asks, arrogance laced in his voice, shaking his unruly hair that resembles a lion's mane.

"Uchiha Itachi?" Kazu questions, the back of his mind figuring out the pieces. He keeps his gaze on the boys and shrugs. "No, I haven't seen him. Look somewhere else."

They regard Kazu haughtily but moves on quickly, resuming their search of Uchiha Itachi. The grass shuffle softly after they leave, Uchiha Itachi peeking from behind the tree.

"Are they gone?"

"They're gone."

"Thank you for not telling them," Itachi says, barely a smile gracing his features, aloof.

"No problem," Kazu nods in acknowledgement, eyes turning to stare in the direction where the three other boys went. "Aren't you friends?"

Itachi seems stumped at the question, his expression perplexed.

"Sorry." Kazu offers an apology. "I asked something that I shouldn't." He stands up, dusting the loose dirt from his legs, closing his book and packing up his empty bento. Itachi's gaze drops to the book in Kazu's arms.

"You…"

"Yamanaka Inokazu."

"Inokazu-san, what do you think of…" Itachi trails off, words on his lips that he's unsure if he should utter.

"Just Inokazu is fine, you're the older one." Kazu gives him a small smile, following Itachi's gaze to the book in his arms. "What I think about…war?"

Itachi nods.

Kazu lowers his gaze, struggling to formulate a proper answer. "To be honest, I don't know. I've never seen it, but I know what it does. People fight because there are things they each want to protect. And a war..." Kazu shrugs, "well, it's hard to make everyone happy. Peace comes with a price."

The following pause makes both of them uncomfortable. The afternoon sunlight filters through the leaves in thin rays, A bird chirps on a treetop somewhere. The noisy bustling of students on the other side of the school grounds is almost deafening in their silence.

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School passes without a hitch. Their first survival practice further establishes Kazu as the top of his class - if not his year. His knowledge in herbology and poisons garners him praises, perks of reading and running a florist at home.

Kazu walks straighter when he returns home, a wide smile on his face, recounting the various comments that he received about his performance in his favourite class - arguably the only class he pays attention to. His father gives him a pat on his head, his mother a wide smile and his favourite dish for dinner.

Kakashi merely snorts and continues to insist that it's useless. "I'll show you what real ninja skills are."

Kazu calls him out on the statement, makes him promise, pinky swear.

"It's a thousand needles if you lie, Kakashi-san."

"Audacious brat."

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Uchiha Itachi graduates from the academy, a decision that was apparently made quite a while ago by the higher ups. Kazu brings his first report card home the same day, showing it to both his parents. He's doing fine, more than fine, spectacular even - top of his class, a remark that his teacher makes begrudgingly.

His father takes him out for dinner as a reward and Kazu meets his Shikaku-ojisan and Choza-ojisan for the first time in a long while. Chouza invites them over for his son's birthday, Chouji turns three. Kazu gets swept up in the conversation between the three adults but loses track of it quickly.

They return home late, Inoichi half drunk and swaying in his steps but boasting a pride for his son. Kazu smiles. Surely, recognition, acceptance and acknowledgement from his father is what he wants.

It's what he tells himself.

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They turn down his request to join in kunoichi classes. He doesn't understand why not. He insists, but they don't listen.

"We know where you're coming from, Inokazu-kun," they say. Anyone with eyes that can see can, really. In fact, this particular teacher had mistaken Kazu's gender during their first class. "But it's not just as simple as just putting you in the class."

They kick him out of the office and slam the door. Kazu spends three minutes staring at the hard wood door before he gives up, turns his heels and walk away.

He doesn't bring it up to his parents, but he's under the impression his father hears about it from somewhere. When Kazu asks, once again, for Inoichi to train him in jutsu, Inoichi agrees. He's surprised, pleasantly so, but at the same time confused and suspicious as to why.

Kazu doesn't question it and goes with the flow. And thus, he begins his study into the clan techniques.

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It frustrates him, drives him crazy. There's sweat gathered on his forehead, his face flushing red, panting, determination in his eyes but yielding no results. The green orbs glaze over in exhaustion as he falls against the grass floor, completely spent.

The other night, Inoichi put Kazu through a few aptitude tests meant to determine his compatibility with Yamanaka clan techniques. The results were stellar. It, however, does not translate practically. No matter how pliable, how well he can manipulate it, how readily his mind splits, it's useless if Kazu is unable to project his consciousness outside of his mind.

He hears the disappointment in his father's tone, sees the downcast of his gaze, the slight slip of his smile. And Kazu's frustrated, so frustrated, anger and bitterness swirling, his hands gripped into fists, tugging on the grass on the ground. His other training hasn't been all that smooth, this isn't the first time he's failed, but clan techniques are special. It's different.

"Aren't you trying too hard?"

Kazu groans slightly as he sits up, staring up at none other than Kakashi. Kakashi is towering over him, leaning slightly and staring down at Kazu with his usual lazy, nonchalant expression. Kazu scowls slightly at the silver haired ninja, blowing a raspberry and takes a sip from the water bottle offered.

"You weren't at the flower shop so I asked. Your mother said you've been training." Kakashi says, shoving his now free hands into his pockets and observing the area around Kazu. The grass is impeccable other than the patch where Kazu is sitting on, it's almost immaculate and as untouched as they come. "Are you really training?"

"Not physically." Kazu raises his arms into a lazy stretch. "Tou-san was teaching me clan techniques. No luck so far."

"Wanna learn something else?"

It takes Kazu a moment to comprehend Kakashi's words, to make sure he heard it right. "For real?"

"For real."

.

Watching Kakashi fight is breathtaking; the fluidity of his motions, the lack of unnecessary movements, the speed, the agility and the composure. Kazu watches in awe as Kakashi fights against his own clone. He knows it's far from Kakashi's true strength, but even like this, restrained, holding back and using only elementary techniques, it's a stunning display of skills and experience.

It takes Kazu several tries. More than several tries. He spends half the afternoon practicing the handseals and the channeling of his chakra. It's fruitful, at the very least. And he cheers, loud and jubilant, a victorious yell after all his troubles.

It's relaxing, a breath of relief as he finally succeeds in something. He's grinning uncontrollably, an expression and emotion that looks out of place on Kakashi's features that Kazu wears on his face at the moment.

"It's not a bad effort," Kakashi comments as he checks Kazu's transformation, eyebrows raised, slightly impressed. "At least it looks almost perfect appearance-wise."

"I didn't spend the last three hours staring at you for nothing."

The corner of Kakashi's lips turn up, smirking.

They stare at each other, one smirking, one grinning like an idiot.

Kazu dispels the transformation, taking a deep breath, rolling his shoulders. "Alright, next."

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They spend the entire day at the training grounds. Kakashi insists he needs a break away from Kazu by the end of the session. Kazu sticks his tongue out at the comment. It's a childish gesture and Kakashi makes sure to make another comment about it.

The fight starts with Kazu throwing a stray pebble in Kakashi's direction. A mischievous taunt, a promise of retaliation and thirty minutes later, they arrive in front of the Yamanaka estate, Kazu muddy and panting, Kakashi impeccable and bored.

"Teach me the shadow clone technique next time," Kazu says, smiling as they reach the estate gates.

Kakashi hums in reply but doesn't give a definitive answer. He's looking over his shoulder at something Kazu doesn't see, distracted, as he has been since halfway.

"Something wrong?"

"No, I just thought…" Kakashi trails off thoughtfully, pauses. He turns to Kazu and raises a hand to pet him on the head. "It's nothing. Hurry home then before your mother tells me off. I'll check back on you after my mission."

"Okay."

Kazu glances back three steps later. Kakashi is already gone.

A breeze blows, the cold wind carrying the ends of his hair. The leaves in the distance rustle softly. Kazu sighs, the taste of autumn on his tongue.


	2. Riptide

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Ino's birthday comes and goes. They hold a joint party between Yamanaka and Nara. The Nara heir, Shikamaru's birthday is a day after Ino's and they celebrated it together. An excuse to throw a party, a front for a gathering of sorts between the three clans: Yamanaka, Nara and Akimichi.

The children are all dismissed into another room pretty quickly. Kazu is on babysitting duty, being the oldest of the main branch children. The other younger clan children are in a separate room, those that are old enough are all in the other room with the adults.

" _My_ niichan." Ino glues herself to her brother, arms wrapped around his leg possessively.

Chouji stands on Kazu's other side, one hand gripping the edge of Kazu's shirt and the other holding onto a big riceball. "But Kazu-nii gives me food!"

The two bicker, Shikamaru lets out a groan from where he sits and Kazu chuckles helplessly. Ino sticks her tongue out at Chouji, reaches out and tries to grab his hand. Chouji dodges, dragging Kazu's shirt with him. It's a tug of war with Kazu as the rope.

"I pity you, Kazu-nii."

"Don't say that Shikamaru-kun," Kazu replies with a smile, albeit a slightly strained smile as the Ino and Chouji have now moved to pulling on his arms instead.

"Stop! Stop! He's my brother! Don't call him Kazu-nii!" Ino stomps her feet, cheeks puffed up, throwing a tantrum, her sea foam green eyes shining stubbornly.

"Ino, that's very selfish" Kazu stares down at his little sister, eyes brimming with affection as he kneels down. "Let's play nice. You three have to get along, okay?" Ino mumbles reluctantly, looking down as Kazu pets her on the head with a smile. "That's my sister."

Ino brightens at those words, eyes wide with pride. She spares another glance at Chouji and Shikamaru and sighs, looking defeated. Kazu raises his head and stares out the open window, the one that leads to the backyard of the estate. A few moments ago, several adults were gathering under the willow tree but now it's empty. The branches sway slightly under the soft breeze, the leaves on the floor rolling with the wind. Kazu decides to bring the children out.

"Shall we go play outside then? The courtyard should be empty." Kazu suggests, receiving cheers from two of them and a groan from the last one. "Shikamaru-kun, let's go."

"No."

Kazu all but drags Shikamaru outdoors.

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The Land of Fire's climate doesn't change much despite the come and go of seasons. His mother tells him of the snow that covered the ground the day Kazu was born, the first and the last time she has ever seen it in her life. There is no snow this year and Kazu's own birthday passes during a heat wave that washes over Konoha.

There is no party or celebration for Kazu's birthday, he spends it in a fit of nightmares in his first overnight survival practice. There's no fire, no screams and no blood but it's dark, with hushed whispers and a heavy feeling of dread. It plagues his dreams constantly that night, his only solace is in the fact that he doesn't scream out loud. The practice itself goes smoothly, testing them on the basics of fire starting, setting up camp, precautionary measures, traps and night watch. Kazu passes spectacularly with his team - a three man cell to mimic genin teams.

Ino is jumping excitedly when Kazu returns the following morning, running straight to the genkan the moment she hears his return. She jumps and tackles him. Fortunately, Kazu manages to stand his ground and lets her down gently.

"Welcome home, niichan!" Ino squeals, tugging onto my hand, "will you go with me, please? Please? Please?"

"Go? Where?" Kazu blinks in confusion.

"She wants to go to the Cloud parade that will be held this weekend," his mother steps into the screen with a tired smile, a sigh on her lips, "Welcome home, Kazu, are you tired?"

"I'm home, kaachan," Kazu nods his head slightly in respect, "a little bit, I didn't sleep very well. The Cloud parade? Are they returning from signing the peace treaty?" His mother nods in confirmation.

"Okay, I'll go with you." Kazu smiles at Ino, a weight settling uncomfortably in his chest, the sensation stifling. "When is it?"

"The parade should be Saturday morning, we'll all go together. Your father will be free that day too." It's his mother that replies. "You should go wash up and rest up."

"Okay, mother."

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It looks like videos on a television, the Kyuubi attack replaying again and again on the screen, the fiery ruins glowing a bright red and orange. Kazu sits down in front of the television, hugging his knees close to himself, bored.

She sits down next to him and the screen flickers, the image changing immediately. It's filled with blood now, screams echoing all around the dark room, the red coloured moon shining from the corner. Kazu has seen this plenty of times too, watching as the young child run through the empty and desolate streets, passing by houses and houses of dead clan members.

She leans against him, her head resting against his shoulders. Her touch is cold against his, rigid and stiff and her skin smooth but hard, like porcelain. Kazu doesn't shy away from the touch, barely acknowledges it as he sits motionless, watching the traumatic events play out on the screen with a level of detachment.

The scene ends with a final, desperate cry from the young boy and it changes completely. The houses look different and the view from the window can only indicate that they're way, way high up in the air. She whimpers next to Kazu, her body withdrawing even more, eyes averted from the screen and shaking slightly.

There's yelling from the screen, in a language that Kazu doesn't understand, the sound of a wooden door slamming shut and crying. A young girl cowers behind the wooden door, bruises and cuts littering her smooth skin.

She whimpers once more from beside Kazu and the screen flashes, scenery changing again. Another scene that Kazu has seen before, the scenery once again resembling that of Konoha's. It's dark, in the middle of the night, a young girl in her bed. The kidnapper sneaks in from ceiling, stealing the girl from her bed, but doesn't make it far before being killed in his tracks. The mask is pulled off of the ninja and the screen shuts off. Kazu vaguely remembers what happens afterwards but the memory escapes him at the moment.

"No more," it's barely a whisper, her voice coming out faint and sorrowful. "No more."

It feels as if he's being kicked and Kazu wakes up to his mother's worried face over him. The sun is shining outside, hanging low, dyeing the sky in a mixture of evening hues. He's sweating profusely again, his hair plastered against his forehead. He sits up, vision swimming, his head hammering, the back of his right hand aching and a sore itching at the back of his throat. He knocked over a glass of water in his sleeping fit, thankfully, it was empty.

"You hit your hand against the glass again when I walked in, it's bruising," his mother explains when she takes in Kazu's confused gaze as he massages the back of his hand. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, mother." Kazu replies, "a bad dream, is all." His voice betrays him, it's shaky as he tries to catch his breath properly.

"Come down when you're ready then, dinner's ready." His mother leaves the room with a last suspicious glance at her son, the water glass in her hand.

Kazu struggles to muster an appetite, his body feeling completely spent, the headache pounding against his head flashing hard and heavy without any sign of ceasing. Kazu closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, resting his growingly heavy head against his hand, a deep frown creasing his eyebrows. It hurts, _a lot_ , like his head's splitting apart, like someone is driving a drill straight through his skull, like someone wedged at axe in his head and is shifting it around.

The temptation to simply skip dinner is strong but Kazu grits his teeth and slips out of his futon. The warm water of the shower provides a bit of a relief, his headache subsiding slightly as he steps out of the shower. He'll manage. If there's one skill he picked up over the years, it's putting on a facade and pretending that he's alright.

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Kazu looks up expectantly, eyes wide, a grin on his face, standing on his tiptoes.

"I guess it's a passing grade." Kakashi's comment is casual but it's enough. Kazu's chest swells with accomplishment and he turns, gaze falling on his own clone, a solid, materialised clone. It takes him two months but he finally masters the shadow clone technique.

With a passing grade from Kakashi, nonetheless.

"How's your clan technique practice going?"

The smile fades from Kazu's expression, and his gaze turn down, focused on the bit of dirt next to his sandals. "It's…going." His tone, bitter. He kicks his feet, the pebble jumping not very far. "I've just...hit a wall and I'm trying to work around it. It's going somewhere, but I don't know where."

"I see."

"Are you going to the cloud parade, Kakashi?" Kazu asks, falling back and sitting down on the grass. "The one this weekend. Ino won't stop yapping about it."

"I have a mission." Kazu opens his mouth to question, Kakashi interrupts before he gets half a word out. "Classified."

A bird cry rings above them. Both Kakashi and Kazu look up at the sky, watching as the bird flies across. Once it disappears beyond the trees, Kazu looks over to Kakashi, eyebrows raised, the unasked question in the air.

"Yeah, I have to go." Kakashi answers without missing a beat, hands shoved in his pockets. "You should go home too, it's getting late."

"I'm going to stay to practice for a while longer." They exchange a wave of sorts before Kakashi disappears, flickering off.

Kazu watches the empty spot where Kakashi stood, he takes a deep breath. Two. Three deep breaths before he recollects himself and gets back to work.

.

He feels like he's grasping at straws. It's right there, so close, in front of his eyes but the further he reaches, the further it floats away. He screams out in frustration, a yell that echoes through the training grounds, carried by the frosty wind.

Kazu still struggles at performing his clan techniques. No matter how much he stretches his mind, something weighs it down, anchors it to the bottom of his own mind without release. He goes through the practices. Meditation. Clearing his mind. Focusing. Concentrating. Nothing.

It's a whirlpool, a black hole in the back of his head. And he's drowning, struggling against the hold, reaching for the surface. His fingers touch the surface but it's never enough to break it.

The tension snaps, like a rubber band stretched too far, the momentum throws him backward. He takes a deep breath, opening his eyes once more. He's unsteady in his step as he stands up, a flutter in his stomach, disoriented, vision swimming slightly as he packs up his belongings and heads home.

.

Kazu never really thought about how he would meet Uchiha Itachi again, in fact, it never crossed his mind. But if he had to think, he'd assume that they meet on the battlefield or something of that sort, both of them officially ninjas. Not on a normal day, in the dango tearoom, of all places.

"They said there aren't any other seats."

They nod in acknowledgement as Itachi takes a seat opposite Kazu.

It's awkward, Kazu picking at the sweets on his plate - sakuramochi and youkan - watching Uchiha Itachi from under his bangs. The Uchiha orders a variety of dango without even looking at the menu. Kazu stabs his youkan absentmindedly. He's not being subtle with his staring, Itachi notices and looks over, black eyes meeting green. They hold eye contact for a while, Kazu looks away first, staring down at his food, flushing slightly, embarrassed.

"We've met before, I'm not sure if you remember, Inokazu-kun."

Kazu is surprised that Itachi remembers his name. They had but a fleeting meeting. Mere minutes. And Itachi probably does not spend his sleeping minutes dreaming of Kazu's future enough to be constantly reminded of it. Kazu swallows the food in his mouth, washes it down with some tea.

"I do." He responds, setting down his teacup. "Remember, meeting you. I...uh, never got to congratulate you. Congratulations on graduating."

It's half a year late but Itachi accepts it happily. "Thank you." There is a hint of a smile on Itachi's features, one that only widens as the waitress presents him his dango. Kazu lets out a chuckle, his laughter ringing out as he watches the happy twinkle in Itachi's eyes as he picks up a stick of dango. Itachi gives a confused stare, eyebrows furrowed together.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about how some girls in the class were arguing over what Uchiha Itachi likes just earlier today," Kazu explains, a mischievous smile on his face, thinking of the loud argument that happened in school earlier that day. The girls in the class made quite the show out of it. "And they were coming up with all sorts of things, yelling at each other. But turns out, they're all wrong and the great Uchiha Itachi likes dango."

"Don't make fun of me, Inokazu-kun." Itachi stares at his dango, flushing, a puzzled look in his eyes. "Is it weird? That I like dango?"

"No, of course not," Kazu raises a hand, waves away the worry in Itachi's eyes. Itachi looks slightly relieved at Kazu's words, giving his dango one last look before happily digging in. "You're free to like whatever you want. Girls are just silly. My younger sister is the epitome of that."

The mention of a younger sibling catches Itachi's attention. "You have a younger sister?"

"I do, she's three. Adorable, really, but quite an annoyance sometimes." Kazu hangs his head, thinks of all the time he gets into trouble because of her, a small doting smile on his lips.

"Sasuke is three too, he's my little brother. He's generally well-behaved, but he has his moments." Itachi mentions in between bites, "He's very… energetic."

"I know exactly what you're talking about."

Itachi gives Kazu a tight-lipped smile, Kazu returns it with a half grimace. They burst out laughing seconds later, a feeling of camaraderie lingering in between. They draw the attention of nearby customers, gazes directed to their table. The two of them quiet down quickly, hunched over the table, Kazu slapping a hand over his mouth, sharing a snicker.

"They're both the same age, maybe they'll end up in the academy together." Itachi muses, "do you think they'll end up in a team together too?"

Kazu's smile quickly fades, his gaze becoming hard, face darkening and a tight tension taking over his features. "Perhaps," He says curtly, setting down his skewer. "I should go. My mother is expecting me. It was nice talking to you, Itachi-san."

Itachi is understandably surprised, watching as Kazu stands up. "I'll see you around, Inokazu-kun."

"See you around." Kazu turns to walk away but pauses in his steps, hesitating of a moment. His gaze lingers on Itachi for a moment, expression difficult. He lets out a sigh eventually, shoulders sagging. "Itachi-san, a word of advice."

Itachi doesn't understand the expression on Kazu's face when he utters the next words.

"Watch out for the man wearing an orange mask."

.

The cloud parade becomes the talk of the town. Even in the classroom, whispers and chatters are all centered on the topic. The peace treaty signed between Konoha and Kumo. Finally, despite the end of the third shinobi world war being a few years ago, it's finally, officially, completely over.

The celebrations and festivities only become more and more extravagant as the weekend approaches, the city bustling with more activity than Kazu has ever seen.

It's even worse when the day finally comes.

Ino is up extra early that day, waking up the rest of the house as she does. Kazu wakes from his restless sleep to Ino's squeals and morning tantrum. He runs a hand through his hair, tangled, bunched up and knotted from the fitful night. The door to his room slams open, Ino standing at the doorway, a bright smile on her face, comparable to the sun hanging high outside.

"Good morning, niichan! Get up! Get up!"

He lets out a yawn, mouth open wide, and his arms raised high in a stretch. "I'm up, I'm up. I'll be down soon." Ino lets out a squeal, a soft chirp like the morning birds outside before rushing off in quick footsteps, squealing for their mother.

Kazu takes his time, dressing languidly and yawning as he arrives for breakfast. It surprises him, because his father is sitting there with a bowl of rice in his hand. Knowing that they will be going as a family, however, brings a smile to Kazu's lips.

"Good morning," Kazu greets, taking his seat.

"You're sho shlow, Kachuu-nii!"

Kazu smiles slightly in return, petting Ino on the head slightly. "Don't speak with food in your mouth, Ino. That's impolite."

"Eat up, Kazu, we're leaving soon. The parade starts around noon."

They leave on time, arriving slightly before the specified time. The streets are bustling, everyone is chattering and laughing, celebrating the festive atmosphere. The roads are packed. Ino clings to Kazu and he makes sure to keep a tight hold on his sister's hand so as not to lose sight of her. They stop by plenty of shops - most of them snacks shops that Ino wanted to go. The taiyaki shop. The dango tearoom. The toy store. Mother even buys her a new accessory, a flower clip she wears proudly, fingering occasionally as they continued through the day.

It's refreshing. He doesn't remember the last time they were out, together, having fun as a family. His grip on Ino's hand tighten slightly, her hand tiny in his, and the three year old turns around beaming at her older brother in response to the wide smile on his face.

Part of the main roads are barricaded for the parade. When Ino finally gets tired, the family heads over, saving good spots for later. Ino had since crawled into their mother's arms, still fingering her new hairclip. Kazu stands to the side, slightly distanced, a nauseated feeling overwhelming him suddenly.

It's past noon, they had a quick lunch at the dango tearoom earlier, and the parade is likely going to start soon.

The first sign of commotion are the whispers and the cheers coming from further down the street. And then they hear the music, blaring loudly from the speakers, a song that Kazu doesn't recognise. Confetti drift in the air, sailing along the excited crowd, accompanied by low altitude fireworks. The loud noise clashes with the thrumming in his head and Kazu clings onto his father's arms in reflex, so he doesn't lose balance and fall over.

He feels the strong arms around his shoulders, steadying him and supporting his weight. Kazu shakes his head to clear his mind, pressing his fingers against his temples, steadying his nerves.

"Kazu, are you alright?" Inoichi's tone is worried, alarmed. Confused.

"Yes," Kazu replies, voice weak. He steadies himself, regains his balance and stands up, independent of his father's supporting arms. He takes a few breaths. "Yes," he says again, this time stronger and raises to give his father a nod. "It's probably just the crowd. Thank you, father."

Still wary, but feeling slightly relieved, Inoichi releases his tight hold on his son. Kazu gives a small smile. It doesn't come out as reassuring as he hope it would. It's forced, he's still wincing slightly, cold sweat on his forehead. But his breathing his normal, he's standing steady and he feels the power in his limbs.

"They're coming! They're coming!" Ino's squeal interrupts the moment, flailing in their mother's hold. She points at the oncoming parade, eyes wide and excitement twinkling in her eyes.

Kazu watches as the group of people get closer and closer. There is a mix - he sees the cloud forehead protectors but he also sees the leaf ones and he's not completely sure who he should be looking at. Ino is just cheering and smiling, oblivious to what the parade is even for, merely living in the atmosphere and celebration.

"Who is it?" Kazu asks, tilting his head to look up at his father. "The Kumogakure head ninja."

"The one in the middle, see there? He's the one waving with the bandages over his head." Inoichi raises his hand and points in the direction of the group of people.

Kazu follows the direction which Inoichi is pointing at. Kazu recognises the face almost instantly. He spent too much time staring at the face, it's like a character from a show that he will never forget. He stares, the amicable man waving at the crowd with a smile on his face. A smile that makes Kazu's insides churn, sick to the stomach.

The man. The hyuuga compound. The kidnapping.

Kazu can almost feel the colour draining from his face. It doesn't go unnoticed. He thinks he hears someone calling his name, but it's drowned out by the crowd, by the cheers, the song and the smiling face of an enemy.

.

"I must stop it. I have to." Kazu murmurs to himself, lying down in his futon, head resting against his arms. He manages it past dinner without drawing too much suspicion, a feat that surprised even himself. He thinks it might be his father purposely letting it slide, but regardless whatever it is, for whatever reason, he is grateful.

"Do I really?"

The question rings in his head, an unanswered query amongst others plaguing his thoughts. It's like a waterfall, a barrage of questions, of doubts and uncertainties. Responsibilities that he isn't ready for. How is he going to answer their questions in the aftermath? What kind of excuse is he going to come up with? What can he say that would satisfy the adults without suspicion? Is it even worth it?

He sighs, closes his eyes and sinks deeper into his futon. He can just ignore it, fall asleep, pretend that he doesn't know and let it pass, let the events unfold outside of his concern.

He can.

He should.

But he doesn't.

.

The moon hangs low, the sky a deep ink blue.

It takes Kazu a while before he finds his way to the Hyuuga compound. It's quiet, a calm that only makes him all the more uncomfortable. Unsuspecting. They wouldn't expect that their precious clan heir would be kidnapped on her birthday, much less by ninjas that are here to sign a peace treaty.

He hums a soft tune. It's past midnight and he's the only one on the streets. He doesn't go too close to the compound, for fear of raising alarms, and maintains a fair amount of distance. He spots a bench at the side of the street and takes a seat, leaning against the wooden backrest, breathes a soft sigh.

He doesn't know what he's going to do. It becomes more and more apparent the later the night goes on. He regrets his decision, his choice to come here, he should just go home. He's not a prodigy nor a genius, he's not Uchiha Itachi or Uzumaki Naruto, all he has is an inkling, some knowledge and a girl in his head that laughs at his worries.

"Hey, little girl. What are you doing here at this hour?"

Kazu hears the question and looks up, doesn't expect it when the man stares right back at him, expecting an answer. He almost thinks there's someone else. It catches him off guard and he stares, blank.

"It's late, girl. You should go home. It can be dangerous."

"Oh." He replies dumbly, standing up from the bench. The man draws close, the white pupils are a tell-tale sign of a Hyuuga - probably a patrolling guard. "I…was taking a walk."

"How old are you? You shouldn't be walking around." The man doesn't buy the story, but he regards Kazu's young age, guard slipping for a moment. "Do your parents know you're out here?"

"I just...got back from a mission." Kazu comes up with a story, his mind turning quickly. He stands a little taller, back straightening and holding his head up. Once he starts, the words flow out of his mouth like water, "I lost my forehead protector in a fight. Hyuuga-taichou is debriefing right now, he told me to wait for him near the compound." He doesn't know how he pulls it off, but he does, and he watches the creases between the Hyuuga's brows slowly fade away. " I didn't mean to bother."

"It must have been tough. Thanks for your hard work," The man believes it, giving Kazu a cheerful smile. Kazu breathes a small sigh of relief. "It's no problem. There are quite a number of foreign ninja around so some precautions have to be taken into consideration."

"I see." Kazu muses. Precautions and security measures, but _yet_ , the cloud ninja still manages to sneak in. If anything, it's only a proof of how strong the enemy is. He's out of his depths. It's not the first time he knows it, the first time he realises it, but it's the first time he's forced to accept it.

"Will you be okay by yourself, girl?"

Glazed green orbs refocus, Kazu turns his attention back on the Hyuuga. "Yes. Yes, I'll be…"

He trails off, because it catches his eye. It's quick, the briefest flash of a shadow against the moon and Kazu almost misses it. It has to be. No one would be heading towards the Hyuuga compound decked in black garb with a mask covering their face. It's the Kumo ninja, Kazu knows it is, and he turns tail and sprints off in the direction, ignoring the cry from the Hyuuga, praying that he makes it in time.


	3. Hush

.

.

.

There's blood. Blood everywhere. The smell of fire, of smoke, of death. There's pain, so much pain. The sickening crunch of broken bones. The surprisingly tough human skin. It's silent. Soundless, save for the low thump of a dead body hitting the ground. A swift strike, from the back, smooth, fluid, a single cut across the throat.

The blood on his hands is sticky, drying into a thin layer of dark red crust that weighs on his hands, a heavy conscience, a mountain worth of guilt. The blood of enemies, of his comrades. His friends. Teammates.

.

Kazu wakes up with the worst headache he has ever experienced. He's screaming, his head tearing apart as much as it's trying to keep itself together.

"Kazu! Kazu!"

It's too much. _Too much_.

.

The room is dark as he sneaks in from the ceiling. There's no one else in sight and it's smooth until he picks up the sleeping girl in the futon. She squirms slightly in his arms but she quickly falls asleep again. The window is closed and it takes a while to open it without making a noise, he manages, leaves through the opening and escapes into the night.

He thinks he can get away, but he's wrong. They catch him just outside the estate garden, and he fights nail and tooth for it. It takes everything he has not to drop the girl in his arm.

The girl, tiny and small, and so much like his younger sister. Like Ino. The little blob of sunshine at home, deep in her sleep, exhausted after the events of the day. The smile on her face as she greets him, her little arms wrapped around his legs. The look on her face as she slowly convinces him to listen to her whims, just _one more time_.

.

Get it out. Get it out.

Stop it. It hurts. Hurts. _Hurts_. A screaming pain. His forehead on fire.

Get it to stop. Please. Please. Pleaseplease _please_.

.

The sky is dark as he heads out further into the night, making his escape, the stars twinkling softly. He flips over another set of walls, eyes on the exit of the Hyuuga estate. Once out of there, he'll be able to buy some time, meet up with his teammates and then leave the village with the little prize he has tucked in his arms.

The thought distracts him, an amateur mistake, foolish and careless. The pursuit catches up, and he's forced into another confrontation. It's fine, he can manage. He knows he can.

And then a sharp shout, and he notices the child up in the tree, he sees himself, standing up on the tree, fear and anxiety clouding his eyes. Hands outstretched, green eyes…

.

A haunting whisper. " _I don't like to share."_

.

"He's … … … … this bad."

His head is heavy, still pounding, as if someone is hammering a nail straight through his skull, attaching him to the hot lava that he's lying against.

" … … concern is … … … … Ya…."

All he wants is someone, anyone, to make the hurting stop. Make the pain go away. No more. _No more._

 _Dog, Dragon, Rat, Ram_

There are screams. A loud static and noise that pierces his ears, a shock straight to his core. Yells, someone shrieking next to him, a loud shout and a roar of thunder.

His arms feel numb, like ants biting softly against his skin, a soft current that stimulates the nerves under his skin.

Better.

 _Monkey, Ox, Boar, Tiger_

"Ka… Ka… zu… Kazu! Wake up, Kazu!"

Kazu? Is that...that's him. But he's… not…

Is he?

.

She waits in the dark room for him, as usual. She's in her normal pose, sitting on the floor with her arms around her knees, alone. There's no flickering screen this time, it's completely dark but she's almost glowing, luminous where she sits like the moon in a night sky.

She stands up when she sees him, sauntering over, arms crossed in front of her chest. She doesn't stop until she's standing in front of him, their face closer, nose almost touching. He sees the displeasure in her eyes, and the downward twitch of her mouth.

"Couldn't you have chosen a more pleasant person instead?"

Kazu tilts his head, eyebrows creasing together, not making a lick of sense out of her words. He opens his mouth to question, but as usual, no words come out and he's stuck gaping like a fish. She chuckles at his antics, raising a hand to cover her mouth as she does, the other now crossed across her abdomen.

Kazu stands there, staring at her as she bursts into fits of giggles, a soft melodious joy ringing in the empty, echoing space. She stops eventually, eyes fixed on him, the remnants of a smile still on her face. She traces her hand along his cheek and brushes the fringe away from his eyes, curling it behind his ears.

"You should cut it soon."

He feels the same gut wrenching feeling he does every time, and he's jolted backwards, kicked out of wherever it is.

.

It's white when he opens his eyes, the pungent smell of antiseptic filling his nose. A constant mechanical whirl and a simple, rhythmic _beep, beep, beep_ ringing in his ears from all the equipment around. His head is still swimming, his vision unfocused and his entire body lethargic. He feels like he's spinning, or maybe everything else is just speeding around him out of control.

His head weighs a ton and when he finally manages to lift it up, it feels like like it's going to loll off his neck any minute, snap where it hangs and fall off. He feels weak, sluggish and listless. He lets out a soft groan as he tries to sit up, using the bedside table as support. His hand slips off the edge and he almost hits his head against the corner. He doesn't, fortunately. The IV comes off, however, and an alarm sounds in his hospital room. The soft, calming beep of the heart-rate monitor overpowered by the shrill screeching that threatens to bring back his headache.

He winces and falls back on his bed. He manages to roll on his side when the door slides open and the paramedics come pouring in. Blurry blobs of white and green going in and out of frame. They notice him, sees him shifting in his bed. His eyes open, glazed over in mist.

"Inokazu-kun? Inokazu-kun, are you awake?"

"Nngh," He only manages a sound, not even a word.

He feels the hands on his shoulders, and on his head, around his temples. Reflexes kick in and he jerks, struggling against the foreign hold, fighting against… against…

"It's me, Kazu. Kazu. It's alright."

A soft, deep voice comforts him, a warm, familiar tone, and he relaxes, relinquishing his struggle against the grip. He looks up softly, opening his eyes that he doesn't realise he has closed. Warm, worrying green stares back at him, a green like a meadow on a summer morning bringing him relief and solace.

"It's alright, Kazu."

And it's a stinging pain, and it's back, blinding his vision. But it's different. Someone dunked the metal knife in freezing water, and then shoved it straight into his forehead. And he screams, he screams until his vocal chords are threatening to tear, screams until the back of his throat is on fire.

They hold him down against the bed, strapping down to restrain him. The leather biting into his wrists and his ankles, and the one around his abdomen pushes down against his muscles.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!"

And he tries to push it away, the knife, the stinging, the pain. And he hears her whimpering, cowering in the corner, shying away from the pain and the invasive touch. He shoves back against it with renewed vigor, a force he doesn't realise he has inside of him. And it goes, it leaves, the pain pulls back with regret and apology.

Kazu keeps his eyes open, his swimming vision focusing. He's staring into the eyes of his father, Yamanaka Inoichi, and Kazu musters all the contempt he can in his gaze.

.

Kazu spends a grand total of two months in the hospital. He was unconscious for the first month, recovering in the next week and forcibly detained for the last three weeks. They tell him he's still recovering, even though he feels _perfectly fine_ , but he has an inkling to the reason why and he listens, if reluctantly and with a pout.

He has two regular visitors: his mother and Ino. His mother comes three times a week, Ino tagging along during the weekends, coming to change his flowers. Akimichi Chouza and Chouji visited him twice, bringing baskets of food and fruits both times, half of which was always gone by the time they left. The Nara main family dropped by once as well, Kazu sharing a long but pointless conversation with Shikaku, Shikamaru content with simply sitting in the corner and staring out the window.

Kakashi visited him once, and insisted that it wasn't on purpose. Kakashi claimed to be unaware of the fact that Kazu was in the hospital - a blatant lie if Kazu ever heard one - said he saw the name on the plaque outside and popped in for a visit. There was no way that Kakashi didn't know about the incident, or why Kazu was in the hospital, from the higher ups, from his mother who would've surely mentioned it at the flower shop, from all the whispers in the hospital.

Even the Hokage visited him once. It was a quick visit, a simple check up on Kazu. Kazu expected questions, an interrogation, but none of that happens. The Hokage was a kind, gentle old man who was concern about Kazu's wellbeing. He brings all the answers to the questions floating in Kazu's head but there was no mention of the Hyuuga incident or the Cloud ninja. It was almost as if Kazu was there simply because he was sick.

They let him go eventually, something that Kazu has been requesting for the last three weeks. His mother and Ino help him pack up his things at the hospital and brings it home on the day he's finally released.

He didn't see his father even once in that entire month and that's all and well because Kazu doesn't know how he'll face the man.

.

Kazu resumes classes and it's horrible.

He's still excelling in written and thought work, the theories, the calculations, the brain stuff. He likes reading, and that hasn't changed. A whole month stuck in bed gives him next to nothing to do and reading becomes his solace, his one anchor to reality that prevents him from going insane due to boredom. They're happy to bring him books and scrolls at the hospital, if it means that he'll stay put in his bed. They bring him children books at first, fit for his age, but when he exhausted their collection in a mere two days, they bring him the challenging material, academic writings and scholarly articles.

He's miles ahead of his peers but only in that aspect.

Two months of no training has taken a toll on his body. It's understandable while he was still unconscious, or recovering, but they had to come up with a reason to detain him for three weeks so he was forbidden to do strenuous exercises. They caught him training once and it tppl Kazu two days of sweet talking before they remove the restraints that tied him to his bed.

He's constantly out of breath, his stamina depleting way too fast, His aim is off, his reflexes dulled, His forms and stances are flimsy compared to before.

But if anything, it only motivates Kazu to train with renewed fervour, almost to the point of obsession. The more he trains, however, the more something strikes amiss. He doesn't know why, as he goes through his forms, as he practice his stances, the routines and counters. Something feels wrong, off, like it's new to him, but he knows he's done it all his life; that's how he's always done it.

.

Kakashi visits him at the training grounds. A lot.

It starts off once a week, then twice, three times a week. Now he's there with Kazu more often than not.

When Kazu questions his appearances, Kakashi merely shrugs. "I'm on vacation," he says. "So I thought I'd check up on you more. Help you get back into shape, because you need it." Kakashi gives a pointed look at Kazu's lacking physique, the seven year old flushing at the comment.

And then Kakashi comes up with a suggestion and Kazu has to blink twice, and asks him to repeat the question before he registers it. And even then, he struggles to believe it.

"Spar with me." Kakashi says almost casually, not even looking at Kazu.

Kazu almost squeals. He doesn't, but his heart is doing backflips, frontflips and jumping all over the place. He feels the adrenaline even before they get into stance, the endorphins pumping in his head.

Kakashi asked to spar with him. _Hatake Kakashi_.

The possible motives in the request flies completely over Kazu's head. He doesn't realise. He doesn't care at that point, far too gone with excitement, elated at the fact that Kakashi is willing to spar with him.

He gets beaten, crushed, rather spectacularly. It was hardly a fair fight. But it doesn't stop Kazu from grinning like an idiot as he lies there on his back, defeated and sporting two new bruises on his face. He has his arms over his eyes as he tries to control his breathing, calm his senses.

He doesn't notice the loaded gaze that Kakashi shoots him, the creased forehead and furrowed eyebrows as Kakashi recalls their short skirmish.

"Hey, Kazu. Did someone teach you?"

Kazu peeks from under his arms, eyebrows raised, confused at the question. "Teach me what?"

Kakashi doesn't answer, but he gives Kazu another look before he turns. "Well, that was enlightening. I'll be going now, you should go home soon too."

It's still several hours till dusk, the sun still hanging high up in the air. "It's still early, Kakashi. Stay for a bit longer."

Kakashi spares Kazu one last glance, snorting. "No."

And then he's gone.

.

Uchiha Itachi's genin squad were all killed including their instructor, except for him.

It could have been avoided, they say, but apparently Itachi rushed to provoke the enemy and his teammates died trying to cover for him.

Kazu only hears of the news much later, but it doesn't stop the words from haunting his thoughts. He ends up throwing up all over the academy corridors, sick in the stomach. The girls scream in disgust while the boys share a look in between them.

He leaves school early that day, spends the day huddled in his blankets, crying.

.

Kazu is making progress. It takes longer than he expects, but he's back to peak form. He doesn't quite understand why, because even after getting his physique up, back to the standard which it used to be, it seems off, almost as if he's not used to doing things in his body. The shuriken doesn't fly as far as it's supposed to, feeling as if his chakra just _isn't enough_ despite his reserves being larger than ever… it's all very puzzling.

Regardless, he's rising through the ranks again. He makes it back to the top of his class, the star pupil in the eyes of his teachers. It's six months after his recovery, and by then they have already announced the first Chuunin exams for the year. It's held in Konoha, and it becomes a little of an event between the academy students.

Six months since he sneaked into the Hyuuga compound. No one mentions anything about the incident or his involvement. Sometimes Kazu thinks that he imagined the whole thing. He knows he didn't. He's seen them, Hyuuga Hizashi and Hyuuga Hiashi together, _alive_.

It's all and well that they don't ask, because Kazu doesn't know how to answer anyways. He does, however, ponder sometimes about what happened to the Kumo-nin after the whole fiasco.

Classes are cancelled for a week as they prepare for the first and second round of the exams. His classmates rejoice, but Kazu doesn't miss the tired look in his teacher's eyes or the long sigh that he exhales as he leaves the classroom.

.

Kazu enjoys the time off, taking a break from his training. He spends most of the time either helping out at the flower shop or staying at home, two things that he hasn't done much since his rigorous training to get back into shape. Ino is ecstatic that she gets a whole week to spend time with her brother.

She's growing up, and her growth becomes painfully obvious to Kazu as he spends time at home with her. Kazu still remembers fondly when she still fit in his arms, the little bundle of joy that squeals when he peeks over her cradle. Now she's nothing less than a wild energetic monkey with speakers for lungs.

"Kazu-nii, Kazu-nii! Can we play ninja? Teach me how to throw a kunai! Or a shuriken!" She clings to his arms, jumping up and down, threatening to dislocate his shoulder where he sits.

"Ino…" Kazu murmurs her voice, in an irritated tone that the young little girl recognises. It's still soft and gentle, he's still smiling, but there's a hidden edge in the voice that Ino has learned to pick up in the years. She lets go of his arm and sits next to him, suddenly afraid that her brother would turn angry. "I told you that I'm practicing this morning, didn't I?"

Ino moans, falls over, lying down on the tatami floor, aggrieved. "B-but, that's so boring!"

Kazu lets out a sigh as he regards his sister, the mirth shining in his eyes as he pats the tatami next to her. She sits up, properly, legs tucked under her and arms on her thighs in seiza position, the same way Kazu is sitting.

"Ikebana is a subtle art, Ino," Kazu explains as he picks up one of the flowers laid out in front of him. "You'll have to learn it too, eventually, as a kunoichi too."

"Eeeeeh!" Ino lets out a yell, clearly upset by that little piece of information. "But I want to go and beat up bad guys, not sit there and play with flowers!"

"Your back, Ino." Kazu chastises with nary a look at his sister. The young Yamanaka immediately straightens her back. "But ikebana helps you blend in. You never know when you'll happen to need it in an infiltration or undercover mission. It's often expected of noble women to be able to master the art of flowers."

He sets down the flower in his hand, tilting his head slightly.

"I like the red one." Ino quipped, and then she slaps her hand over her mouth immediately.

Kazu chuckles softly as he picks up the flower that his sister singled up. "It's alright, Ino. I don't mind suggestions, unlike kaachan." Their mother takes the art of flower arranging very seriously, silence must always be maintained when in her presence. "This is a red spider lily, also known as higanbana. It's not a traditional breed of flower that is used in kadou."

Ino stares at the flower in her brothers hand, watches as he fingers the long red petals before taking the scissors and snipping of the stem in one smooth motion. "It's pretty."

"It's poisonous." Kazu says simply as he places the flower in his arrangement, a blooming red amongst the deep black bowl. "The bulb of the flower can cause vomiting and diarrhea, and in concentrated doses can lead to the paralysis of the central nervous system and death."

"Is that why it's referred to as higanbana?" Ino asks, curious as she leans forward, eyes wide.

"Of course not, silly. Many poisonous plants can kill people," Kazu chuckles, picking up a vine of rosemary and forming it around the flower. "It's simply often associated with death, especially due to its use in funerals. What a shame, because it has such a beautiful meaning to it. ***** "

Kazu snips off the unused rosemary that dangles off the bowl, setting his finished product along with the other works that he did over the course of the morning. He turns and looks at his younger sister, clearly detached from the topic, boredom overwriting the spark of curiosity in her eyes.

He lets out a soft sigh and stands up, trying to ignore the ants biting his feet as his legs grow numb over sitting in seiza for a prolonged period of time. Ino looks up, eyes following as her brother stands up, dusting his legs as he does.

"Shall we go then, Ino?"

Her eyes light up at the question. She jumps to her feet, head nodding furiously as she does. Kazu only smiles as he watches his younger sister bounce out of the room, light on her feet as she sprints through the corridor and towards their backyard.

Kazu calls after her, chastising her not to run around in the house. It falls on deaf ears and she turns the corner, barely waiting for him catch up. He doesn't want to keep her waiting nor does he want to upset her, but he stares down at his yukata and lets out a sigh, his hand resting against his temple.

.

On the day the last round of Chuunin exams are held, the instructors take the academy students on a field trip. There is a section in the spectator stand that's littered with young children, Kazu sitting amongst them.

It's his first time seeing shinobis fight, each other, a death match that means honour for the winning side. It's his first time seeing death in real life.

The Ame-nin is ruthless as he ignores the Suna-nin's forfeit and plea, the proctor's warning and interruption, swinging forward his blade and stabbing it clean straight into his opponent's chest. The girl sitting next to Kazu screams in horror, burying her face in her hands, turning away from the sight and cowering with her other friend. Two rows above him, one of the students cause a commotion as they threw up on the person in front of them.

It's different, confronting death in the face as opposed to seeing it in his dreams. He thought he would be immune to it by then, but the nausea still settles in his stomach, his heart beating quickly against his hollow chest. And he feels sick, when people on the other end of the spectator stand begins cheering for the Ame-nin.

They don't even clean up the blood on the floor as they move onto the next match, they carry on, as if someone didn't just die in the very spot where they stand.

And he wonders, if one day he'll become numb to death as they are, if he will be able to disregard it, push on and move on and continue despite witnessing it. And he wonders, how it will feel to stand where they stand, driving his blade into someone else's chest.

.

"I'm home." He calls out weakly, taking off his shoes at the genkan. He calls it out of habit, knowing that there is no one at home, his mother and Ino still at the flower shop. It's always busy at the flower shop in the period right after the Chuunin exams, what with congratulations and condolences. His mother has been staying behind late for the last several days.

Kazu checks the time on the clock, there's still some time before he has to go and pick up Ino from the flower shop. He decides to take advantage of that, taking a shower and changing into a fresh set of clothes. He's sweaty from school, they spent their last period doing laps around the school field, and he's positive that he smells disgusting.

Kazu placed first, to the surprise of no one.

His classmates congratulated him, his teacher gave him praises, but it feels like a chore. No one really cares anymore. It doesn't matter.

Kazu agrees.

.

The first time Kazu sends his shadow clone to school in his stead, he doesn't think much about it. He's sitting in the library, eyes focused on the book in front of him, scanning the lines intently. All he knows is that lunchtime is over, but he wants to - no, he _needs_ \- to finish reading the book. There is no way he's going to stop there, in the middle of the chapter. He doesn't think as he makes a shadow clone, eyes not leaving the book, and sends the clone to class in his stead.

The day goes well. His clone returns to him after the end of class, staring down at the real Kazu. It takes a moment before the clone realises that Kazu is so absorbed and concentrated in the book that he doesn't realise clone-Kazu is back. Clone-Kazu ends up standing there, looking rather dumb, for a bit before picking up another book on the table and reading that.

Kazu doesn't look up from his book until the fatigue starts settling in and he's feeling drowsy, the weariness from keeping up a shadow clone for hours starting to take a toll on him. It's only then that Kazu remembers what happened. He looks up to see his clone sitting opposite him, diligently glossing over another of the books that Kazu picked up. Kazu dispels the clone quickly, pausing as the information crashes into him.

It's his first time keeping up a shadow clone for longer than an hour, and it takes him some time before he can juggle between the two timelines and unscramble everything his clone learned throughout the day. He leans back against as the mess slowly sorts itself, glancing out the window of the library as he does.

The sun is setting outside by then, painting the sky in a mixture of orange and red hues. Kazu snaps his head to glance at the clock on the wall, cursing under his breath as he realises that he's late in picking up Ino. He rushes over as fast as he can, but he still ends up late and the little ball of sunshine that is his sister sits sulking in the corner by the time he arrives.

She's pouting with watery eyes as he squats down next to her, comforting her and telling her that he hasn't forgotten about her. Their mother stands to one side, rolling her eyes as she farewells a customer. It takes Kazu a while, longer than a while, with plenty of reassurances, promises and ultimately dango on the way back home before he gets Ino to cheer up again.

Kazu smiles softly as he watches her practically bounce the whole way home, clutching his hand tightly in hers, her hand never leaving his.

.

"She cried, you know."

Kazu turns to his mother. She looks up from the laundry in her hands, her warm gaze focused on Kazu. "She packs up her things ten minutes before time and she always sits down at the bench next to the door, waiting for you. She got worried when you didn't show up on time and was panicking when ten minutes passed." She turns her attention back to the clothes at this, folding the garments meticulously, stacking them "She didn't believe me when I said you haven't abandoned her."

"I would never."

"She knows that. Your sister is very strong, you know, Kazu?" Kazu stares at the complicated smile on his mother's lips. "I once lost her in the market once. She never cried the entire time. She stood next to the guard station, waiting for me."

Kazu blinks, his fingers playing with the corner of the library book absentmindedly. "Mother are you jealous?"

His mother laughed at the question, "maybe a little. Your father definitely would be when he hears of this."

At the mention of Yamanaka Inoichi, Kazu's face dims, his expression turning rigid and he pressing down at the corner that he has been playing with, creasing the page.

"That's a library book, Kazu." His mother reminds him, Kazu relaxing the tension in his hand immediately.

"Sorry," he murmurs, his gaze is distant as he shuts the book.

"You should talk to your father." Kazu watches as his mother stands up from the floor, the stack of laundry in her arms. "And if you need someone to talk to, Kazu, I'm always here. I am your mother."

All Kazu can do is stare as she leaves the room.

.

.

.

 _Higanbana,_ lit. "flower of the other shore ( _higan_ )", _higan_ refers to the afterlife once you cross the _sanzu_ river (similar to the river of styx.)

The red spider lily symbolises "passion", "solitude", "rebirth", "resignation" as well as "sorrowful memories"

Rosemary symbolises "sacrifice", "memories", "unchanging", "devotion" and "loyalty"

 **A/N:** If anyone feels like the Hyuuga incident is glossed over too much, there's a reason for that. Don't worry, there'll be more on that in the later chapters.


	4. Vigil

.

.

.

 _Snip. Snip. Snip._

Kazu lowers the pair of scissors in his hands, staring into the mirror. He examines his reflection, fingering his fringe to make sure that it's the right length, that the hair that frames the side of his hair isn't too long, that his pony tail rests at a comfortable length over his shoulders.

His mother has been getting more and more frustrated over his hair lately, citing that it makes him look too feminine. She says it like it's a bad thing. Personally, Kazu finds that he doesn't really care. Besides, it might become something he can use to his advantage in the future, if he doesn't grow out of it first.

Besides, he always admired…

Kazu refuses to go down that line of thought, setting down his scissors and turning away from the mirror. He spares a glance at the clock in the room, the clock hands reading just slightly past nine in the morning. Kazu raises his arms in the air, stretching as he yawns the drowsiness away.

His classmates should all be sitting in the academy, enjoying their morning class by now. And where he usually sits in the classroom would sit Yamanaka Inokazu - the shadow clone. Ever since he realised he can upkeep a shadow clone for the entire school time, he hasn't found a reason to go himself. He can send his clone in and spend that time doing something way more productive.

And that's exactly what he does.

He slips out of the window, making sure to close it behind him before sneaking to the library where he has been spending most of the time in. In the last few weeks, he's found a spot in the library, a secret little corner that no one else frequents, the perfect place for him to play hooky.

* * *

"He left his house at 9:13AM and made his way straight to the village library, spending the next eight hours reading in the usual corner. The nature of his reading materials have reached a standard that's common within Chuunin. He left the library at 3:42PM and arrived at the thirteenth training ground at 3:50PM where he stayed until 6:02PM. There are no irregularities with his training, consisting mainly of academy-approved taijutsu and bodybuilding. At 6:10PM, he picked up his younger sister at Yamanaka Flowers, the pair arriving home at 6:30PM. He has not left the house since."

"I see." Sarutobi Hiruzen leans back against his chair, setting down the papers in his hands. He lets out a long sigh, swerving his chair to stare out into the night sky. "Thanks for your hard work."

"Yes, Hokage-sama" The ANBU stands at attention. "If there is nothing else, then I will excuse myself from here." He takes a bow, turning to leave the room.

"Kakashi." The Hokage's call halts him in his step, Kakashi turning back to the old man in his chair. "Do you think I made the right decision regarding the boy?"

"Hokage-sama?"

Hiruzen turns back to look at Kakashi, but he doesn't manage to discern much from Kakashi's body language. Kakashi is standing straight, the same rigidness in his body that he exhibits whenever on duty, his face hidden under his mask, a ceramic camouflage that Hiruzen always regretted making him wear.

"I think," Kakashi begins, his tone clinical, "it is the best decision for his safety. If Kumogakure knew of his involvement, then the situation would've been much harder to reconcile."

"Has he mentioned anything of the incident? What he did to the Kumo-nin?" Hiruzen pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against his hand.

"No, Hokage-sama. He hasn't mentioned anything outwardly, not about what he did that night or anything to explain why he exhibits abnormalities in his skills that are inconsistent with his previous progress and the incident in the hospital…"

"He doesn't have many friends in the village either, does he? Anyone he might confide in?"

Kakashi shakes his head, snorting at the idea despite himself. "Not as far as I know. He struggles to make friends with people his age and he's very guarded. I have spoken with his mother and I don't believe he has told her anything either."

"And he wouldn't tell his father…" Hiruzen lets out another sigh, a long, deep sigh that barely expresses the burden and exhaustion that he bears on his shoulders. "I've read through his file, the doctors think they should run tests to place him on the spectrum. What do you think, Kakashi?

Kakashi doesn't answer immediately. It's not something that he hasn't considered, but till now, he has yet to arrive at a proper conclusion for that matter. "Forgive me, but it's very hard to say. I have considered it myself with regards to his night terrors, his anxiety and his fixation on certain things. However, he hides them very well. He also shows a level of social incompetence and detachment from reality but I would like to argue that it's different from being on the spectrum. There is likely something else that affects him but I don't think it's autism."

The Hokage takes his words into consideration, leaning over his table and staring at one of the scattered reports on his desk: the complete file of Yamanaka Inokazu amassed in the last eight months. "That is noted in the files. Even if he was on the spectrum, his signs are of adults that have progressed through years of proper counselling, which doesn't quite make sense. What about his childhood? What do you know of it?"

"His mother insists he was a very well behaved child, if to the point of unsettling." Kakashi admits, recalling one of his earlier conversations at the flower shop, so many long years back when Yamanaka Inokazu was still but an infant, sitting in the corner of the store, a picture book in his hands and staring at him with round, wide eyes. "They say there was a period within three years of his birth when he insisted that he was a girl, biologically. He did not talk much but when he did, he talked of many fantastical things. They attributed it to childhood imagination, at the time, but the events and ideas were uncannily coherent for a three year old."

"Indeed, they mentioned a series of panic attacks that the young boy experienced prior to the incident four years ago." The Hokage flipped through the file, reading through the reports and words that he has read so many times in the last few months. "But after the attack, his demeanor and personality changed completely. His night terrors, however, increased in frequency. He has shown conscious effort in attempting to suppress them. They reported him as being 'skittish' around the time right before the Hyuuga incident."

"Hokage-sama, are you suggesting…"

"I don't know," Hiruzen shakes his head, his eyes meeting Kakashi's for a moment. He reaches out and picks up the pipe that sits at the corner of his desk, lights it, pressing the mouthpiece against his lips. "It's safe to assume, however, that Yamanaka Inokazu was aware of what would happen. I do not plan to push, however, for him to reveal everything right now. I fear that he might withdraw even more. He is still such a young boy."

"I disagree." Kakashi speaks up, his voice an octave deeper. "The boy is not young. When I was his age…"

"The times are different, Kakashi!"

Kakashi steps down, but he holds his ground, his eyes strong with dissent. He still doesn't agree,

"I'm not suggesting he's weak, Kakashi." Hiruzen notices the gleam in Kakashi's gaze, avoids it and turns to the night view instead. "You are aware why I am bringing this up."

"I have an inkling. You want to allow him to graduate early."

The Hokage nods, his eyes still kept on the view outside his window, overlooking the sleeping village. "His abilities has exceeded many of his peers, he is far above academy level, especially from what you have informed me over the months." He exhales, a soft puff of white smoke escaping from his lips. "He is more than qualified to be a proper ninja. Besides, I cannot have one of my best ANBU keep an eye over him any longer but I also cannot leave him unwatched."

"Is there something between the boy and his father?"

Kakashi doesn't receive an answer immediately. He waits, patiently, for the Hokage to give him a reply. It's silent between them for a while, a pregnant pause that would make anyone else uncomfortable. Kakashi merely stands there, his stance relaxing slightly, but still in attention.

"I permitted a mind-reading on the boy back when he was in the hospital. His mind is stronger than what any of us thought." There is a tone of regret laced in the voice, a deep apology. "He resisted, and became aware of what happened. As far as I know, they have yet to patch up the relationship."

"Hokage-sama! You-" Kakashi yells, ready to unleash the disapproval that has pent up in his chest regarding the treatment of the boy. He is silenced by the look that Hiruzen gives him, a glare from the corner of the Hokage's eyes that tells him to shut up.

"You care for the boy very much, but you must not let that cloud your judgement." Another strand of smoke leaves his lips, disappearing into the night sky. "I am not proud of my decision, but it was one that I had to make. I won't hear anything about it. You're dismissed."

There are many words on the tip of Kakashi's tongue, but he swallows them and nods. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

* * *

Kazu brings the news to his mother first. She's at the flower shop, as she usually is, working at the counter when he arrives. Ino is absent, currently at home with the nanny. It's in the middle of the day, during school hours, and his appearance alerts her attention almost immediately. Her first reaction is worry, and then suspicion as Kazu seems perfectly fine, especially when he greets her with a cheerful tone in his voice.

"They're putting me forward for early graduation." Kazu announces. "Next march. I need my parent's approval, but I won't have to continue attending classes once I complete the graduation tests." His expression drops slightly then, a shadow casting over his eyes. "I need you to tell dad."

The thing about avoiding someone is that it can't go on forever. Eventually, one day, sometime, sooner or later, he'll have to face it, to confront it and deal with it. Kazu knows that. It's almost a miracle how smoothly he has been able to avoid his father up till then.

His mother refused to talk to his father for him, so Kazu is forced to do it himself.

His mother is currently downstairs in the living room, enjoying a cup of steaming hot tea, thinking about how she will brag to everyone else about her son's early graduation. Ino is sleeping soundly in her bed, exhausted after an entire day of running around with her brother. There's only one person behind the door, Kazu knows that. His hands hover mid air, knowing that he will eventually have to knock, but not finding the courage to.

He doesn't have to, in the end.

"Come in, Kazu." The deep voice is muffled by the door. It still sends a jolt of surprise through Kazu and his hand freezes where it hovers, his body tensing up. In retrospect, it's only given that his father would have known, would sense him standing in front of his door.

When Kazu doesn't move despite the invitation, the door swings open by itself. Yamanaka Inoichi stands by the doorway, staring down at his son, emerald eyes shadowed by the light in the room. Kazu freezes at the sight of his father, consumed by fear, the memories of pain fresh in his mind, the freezing knife threatening against his neck. His heart jumps, his breathing hitches, and he's drowning in the dry ocean, bracing for the impact that never comes.

"Come in, Kazu," he says again, taking a step back and allowing full access of the boy into the room.

The words pull Kazu out of his trance, the air returning to his lungs. He stumbles into the room, almost tripping over his feet in the process. He has been to his parents room many times before. Naturally, not lately, because he's been actively avoiding this part of the house for the better of the year. It hasn't changed and Kazu finds himself walking to his favourite chair in the room, the one by the foot of the bed, a deep red sofa chair with the fluffiest cushions in the house. He used to sit in that chair, listening to bedtime stories by his parents, but that was long ago.

Inoichi closes the door and takes a seat at the edge of the bed. His eyes never leave Kazu, whose eyes in turn are focused on the floor. The bed frame squeaks slightly under Inoichi's weight and it's only then that Kazu brings his head up, looking at the man which he calls his father, the man that he hasn't seen in months.

For the most, he looks the same as Kazu remembers, but then Kazu notices the deep stress lines that has settled on Inoichi's face, the dark circles under his eyes. Inoichi's cheeks are gaunt, and he looks so tired, exhausted, his hair hanging loose and disheveled. Kazu always had the image of his father looking impeccable, even at home, an image shattered by what he sees right now.

"I've been put forward for early graduation… father." Kazu meets his father's gaze, flinching as he does. "I will graduate next March, but I will need permission from my parents."

Inoichi's eyes widen at the news, regarding his son with a look of surprise. "Do you know why?"

Kazu shrugs in response. He looks away, wanting the conversation to be over with. But then he remembers how his mother insists that he needs to talk with his father, that they have to patch things up because she won't stand it anymore. He turns back to his father, swallows dryly as he meets the gaze of those emerald eyes once more, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. "I guess they figured out that I've been sending a shadow clone to school."

That comes as news to Inoichi and he almost chokes at Kazu's casual admission of the fact. It is something that he wouldn't know, because he's always the first to leave the house every morning and the last to return every night. But as far as _he_ knows, he hasn't taught Kazu anything of that sort, and they definitely don't teach that at the academy.

Kazu picks up on the confusion in his father's eyes and shrugs again, suppressing the shudder that threatens to overcome him. "Kakashi taught me that a while ago, among other techniques." _Because you won't teach me_ , goes unsaid, the implications hanging in the air. The sentiment is not one that Kazu voiced once, ever. He understands, he really does, that his father is busy, that his father wants Kazu to enjoy his childhood beyond _shinobi_ and _training_ , Kazu understands that, he does. Especially after Kazu's lack of aptitude with Yamanaka clan techniques, Inoichi never showed it overtly, but Kazu feels his father's disappointment, so he stops asking, and he avoids it, because he hates being the disappointment.

"I will go to the academy and talk to your teacher for you."

Hearing that, Kazu stands up from the chair, turning to the door. He wants to get out of there. Now. He moives quickly. He's at the door, his fingers touching the doorknob.

"Kazu, wait." Kazu stops, but he doesn't turn around. He closes his eyes, focuses on controlling his breathing, trying to stop the shaking in his hands. "Kazu… I won't read your mind. Turn around. We need to talk."

Kazu takes deep breath. He turns around, gaze locking once more with his father. He sees the hurt in the eyes, the regret and the sympathy. Kazu flinches at the look, knowing that he's the one who put it there. He shies from the look, his gaze turning to the floor again. The awkward tension in the room makes him shift where he stands.

"It was an order." Inoichi sighs. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kazu." Kazu doesn't deign it a response, his eyes still on the floor, hands gripping into fists. "I had to, we had to know what was going on. You weren't waking up, but you were having nightmares, you were screaming. The doctors didn't know what was going on, no one did. Especially when you…" Inoichi trails off there, hesitates for a moment. "The Hokage ordered me…"

Kazu still doesn't reply, but his shoulders are shaking slightly. His eyebrows are furrowed together, eyes pressed shut, pursing his lips into a tight line.

"I know you're angry at me, Kazu. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. But…"

" _I'm your son!_ "

Inoichi is interrupted mid-sentence, something that Inoichi never expects that Kazu will do. Kazu's voice is leveled but the conviction behind his words is something Inoichi has never heard before.

"Kazu…"

Kazu finally turns to look at his father. He's not crying, but the tears are threatening to spill, frustration and resentment overflowing. "That's a technique that you use in T and I, father. And you used that on _me_. I trusted you. I needed your comfort in that hospital room! My head was killing me, I was confused, I didn't know what was going on… and I thought… I thought… " Kazu shudders at the memory. "You said I'm angry at you, father. I'm not. I'm not angry, I'm afraid. _I'm afraid of you._ "

Inoichi opens his mouth, but Kazu shakes his head. "I forgive you father, even though I never blamed you. Perhaps in the moment I did, but not anymore. I'm just scared, father. You've done it once, what's to say you won't do it again?"

Inoichi is silent as Kazu leaves the room. The door creaks as it shuts, the wind howls in the lonely night outside the window.

.

"I see not having to go to school made you even more of a recluse."

Kazu looks up from the book lying open in his lap, keeps his fingers in between the pages so the slight breeze doesn't mess up his pages. Kakashi stares down at him, eyes scanning the text that Kazu holds open before landing on Kazu's face.

"I don't want to be called that by you." Kazu rolls his eyes at Kakashi, turning his attention back to his book. Kakashi isn't wrong. Now that he doesn't have to report to anywhere or anyone, Kazu finds himself spending most of his time alone - often in some remote spot or another, by himself, reading. Lately, he favours the top of the Hokage monument, atop the cliff and under the shade of the trees, a quiet place where barely anyone frequents.

Kakashi shrugs at Kazu's remark, his attention turning to the text that the boy holds again. "Medical jutsu, Kazu?"

"Just… reading," Kazu murmurs, flipping a page. "They gave me books on medical knowledge while I was in the hospital, so I thought I'd read more into it. It might come in handy… eventually." He pauses mid-motion, unsaid words on his lips, words that he brushes aside for the time, and continues through the book. Kakashi doesn't miss the hitch in Kazu's movements, eyebrows raising. However, Kakashi doesn't press the matter any further, and Kazu doesn't elaborate, flipping another page in the book. He doesn't look up as he asks Kakashi, "did mother send you?"

"No," Kakashi begins but then he decides there really isn't any point in lying. "Yes. She's wondering why you are out here, and not at home, when your birthday party is about to start in… an hour."

Kazu lets out a sigh, shutting his book as he does. "Because it's not really my birthday party. It's a clan party, I'm just the excuse. They just had one two months ago with Ino and Shikamaru, and they will have one again in a few months with Chouji." He stands up all the same, dusting the dirt from his pants, repacking the open lunchbox that he has been picking at.

"You still don't get along with your father." It's not a question but a statement.

It gives Kazu pause in his movements, but he ignores it and continues packing up. "That's irrelevant."

"I'm changing the subject."

"Stop being nosy, it doesn't suit you."

Kazu knows he hit bullseye with that statement, Kakashi looks rather uncomfortable where he stands, sighing and brushing a hand through his hair. Kazu heaves the backpack over his shoulder and begins walking. He's aware of Kakashi's footsteps trudging after his.

"Are you going to follow me all the way back?"

Kazu only smiles when Kakashi's presence immediately disappears after the question, his backpack sinking slightly as a new weight is introduced.

Kazu ignores it until he reaches home, flipping over the lid of his backpack to find a brand new set of ningu sitting on the surface, a simple _Happy Birthday_ scrawled on a note on top. He chuckles out loud, shoving it back into his pack.

"I'm home." He calls out, but no one hears it, the bustling and busy household drowning out his voice. With a sigh, Kazu sets down his backpack and heads to the kitchen, the clinging of utensils a telling sign of his mother's presence, bracing for the earful of lecture he's going to receive.

The birthday party passes as he expects it to - he ends up spending the majority of the time babysitting Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji. It's not an easy feat, keeping check of all three of them, but at least Shikamaru is an easy child to look after. After all, the boy barely wants to do anything.

Kazu gets better at the job of babysitting, because that's what he ends up doing for the majority of the time before his graduation. The Nara and the Akimichi invite him over and asks him to look after their children for them, knowing that Shikamaru and Chouji enjoy Kazu's presence more than in any other. And everytime Kazu goes, Ino throws a tantrum wanting to go too, and it often ends up being all three of the children gathered together with Kazu sighing tiredly.

Kazu suspects that his mother has something to do with it, if only as a way to stop him from spending the entire time by himself. It worked, regardless, and he becomes a frequent visitor with Ino at both the Nara and the Akimichi households, visiting at least once a week. Towards the end of the period, it becomes less of inviting Kazu over for babysitting, which entails him bringing Ino and Chouji along, and simply inviting Kazu over for dinner, or shogi in the case of Nara Shikaku.

Kazu is dreadful at the game, but they insist that he play. Shikamaru is glad because there's finally someone that he can beat instead of just losing nonstop at the hands of his father.

"And that, Inokazu-kun, is how you lose yet another game." Kazu lets out a sigh as he stares at his King in checkmate position on the board. He's playing with a _rokumaiochi_ handicap and yet, he struggles to win against Shikaku. At the very least, he has improved from losing with a _juumaiochi_ handicap and he takes pride in that. After all, he only picked up the game half a year ago. "Your graduation ceremony is tomorrow, isn't it?"

Kazu's hands reaches for his forehead protector absentmindedly. He took the graduation exam earlier that week along with this year's graduates, passing with flying colours.

Shikaku lets out a chuckle. "Your father couldn't stop talking about it yesterday when we were out drinking." The mention of his father still causes the corner of Kazu's eyes to twitch slightly, something that Shikaku doesn't miss either. Shikaku's expression softens, knowing what transpired between the pair. "He's very proud of you, Inokazu-kun."

Kazu focuses his gaze on the board and only hums softly in response. It isn't due lack of trying that there is still tension between him and his father. It just takes longer to heal a wound than to inflict it.

"Kazu-nii, play with me too." Shikamaru's lazy drawl interrupts the silence that settles between Kazu and Shikaku, the boy stepping onto the engawa-deck where they have been playing. Shikamaru lets out a yawn as he sits down next to the shogi board, his eyes scanning the finishing position of the pieces. The twinkle in his eyes tells Kazu that Shikamaru has figured out how the game went down already.

Kazu turns to look at the boy and then at the setting sun. "Maybe another day, Shikamaru-kun. I have to go."

"You're not staying for dinner, Kazu-nii?"

"Not today. I have to pick up Ino first and it'll be early for me tomorrow…" A small smile graces Kazu's lips as he raises a hand and pets Shikamaru on the hand, much to Shikamaru's chagrin as he tries to swipe the hand away. "Give my apologies to Yoshino-san for me."

Shikamaru snorts at the comment while Shikaku lets out a groan, neither of the Naras enjoying the idea of announcing Kazu's absence for dinner that day. Kazu only chuckles response, giving a final wave before he flickers away.

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Kazu's presence draws a lot of gaze from the other graduating students in the classroom. He sits in one corner, a new book open in front of him. He hears the whispers and he is aware of the fingers poinited, but he pays them no attention, feigning ignorance and pretending that it doesn't concern him. It isn't hard to disregard the attention, the material he's reading on medical techniques requiring much of his attention and concentration to understand.

He only looks up and puts it away when the teachers enter the room, a banner hanging on the blackboard congratulating them on graduating. There is a short speech and some words of advice and instructions by the Chuunin teacher, the classroom eventually calming down from the excitement as the teacher goes on. Teams are being announced and Kazu perks up, waiting for the announcement of his name as they go through the different teams.

It never comes. There are fifteen teams in total, none of them consisting of Kazu. He raises his hand at the end of the announcement, bringing almost everyone in the room to stare at him once more.

"My name was not called, sensei." His admission brings snickers and laughs to the other students, and Kazu hears more than one unpleasant comment that questions the validity of his graduation.

"You are… "

"Yamanaka Inokazu."

"I see," The teacher flips through the pages of papers in his hands, clearly looking for the correct instructions. "You aren't assigned to any of the three man teams in this graduating class. You will, however, meet with your Jounin instructor and your new team at the third training ground." Kazu lowers his hand with a nod. "If there are no more questions, they you are all dismissed."

The third training ground is empty when Kazu arrives. He sees the three tree stumps that stand in a line in the glade, the KIA memorial stone further down. Kazu grimaces slightly at the irony before sitting down against one of the stumps and opening his book.

He is joined soon by someone. When Kazu looks up, the boy is crouching in front of him, eyes staring straight into Kazu's. The sudden close proximity surprises Kazu and he pulls back in reflex, blinking. Kazu is even more surprised when a large grin spreads across the boy's face.

"Yes!" He cheers, jumping up and pumping his hands into the air. "Finally, I'm getting a girl on the team!" Kazu opens his mouth to object, but it doesn't seem like the boy is going to listen. He shuts it again. Instead, Kazu sits there with the book still open in his lap, choosing to tilt his head and observe his new teammate.

He's older than Kazu, that is very clear. From what Kazu can see of his body build, he would put the boy at probably four years his senior. There are no distinctive features that marks him as a clan child - no Hyuuga eyes or Inuzuka tattoos or Aburame glasses for example - but Kazu can tell that this person is no ordinary ninja. The boy is but jumping around the area around Kazu, but there is a fluidity in his movements that suggests a high level of dexterity, as well as the simple fact that despite fleeting over the place, the boy is soundless.

Kazu only hears the soft breeze blowing, the rustling of the pages of his book and the flowing of water down the nearby stream. A distant cry of the birds.

The next arrival surprises Kazu, because it's a familiar figure, but one that he hasn't seen for over a year. Uchiha Itachi walks towards the two of them, the same surprise showing in his face as his gaze lands on Kazu. Kazu wants to smile and wave at Itachi, but then he recalls the aftermath of their last meeting, the deaths that his suggestion puts on his hands, so he settles with only a wave and a nod of acknowledgement. Itachi returns it with a nod of his own.

Their Jounin teacher appears just as Itachi gets close enough. The boy is now sitting on top of one of the stumps, regarding both Kazu and Itachi with interest. Kazu is still leaning against another stump, the book open in his lap. Itachi stands two meters away, hands in his pockets.

"I see you are finally all here," the female voice draws all of their gazes. Kazu shuts the book in his lap in favour of scrutinising his new teacher with the rest of his team. There isn't much he can discern other than that she's very pretty, and the frigid expression on her face can likely freeze the land of fire over three times. Kazu mulls over the words she said, trying to figure out what strikes him amiss. 'Finally', she said 'finally', suggesting that she has been here the entire time. Kazu quickly snaps his head around his surroundings, taking in the forest of trees and all the shadows in between.

He didn't notice her presence at all, despite sitting there for the last thirty minutes.

"This team," She begins, drawing Kazu's attention back to her again. There is something commanding about her tone, even though it's very soft and subtle, "is not your average genin team. You've probably worked that out by now. We'll start with introductions, from the youngest. Your names, hobbies, whatever knowledge you think will benefit the team." Her pointed gaze lands on Kazu.

Kazu puts away his book and stands up on his spot, nodding once at his teacher and then panning his gaze from Itachi to his last teammate. "My name is Yamanaka Inokazu." There is a cry from the boy at this, " _You're not a girl?_ " Kazu chuckles slightly at the response and nods. "Yes, I am a boy. My hobbies are reading and spending time with my younger sister, Ino. I suppose I have picked up shogi too, recently, though I'm terrible at it. I've recently began reading up on medical techniques… I've just graduated so I have no experience but I will do my best." Kazu bows at this and looks up at his teacher.

She gives a low hum, but nods an approval before turning her gaze to Itachi.

"Uchiha Itachi. I graduated two years ago, but spent the last year rotating through many teams. My specialties lie in bukijutsu and my sharingan which amplifies both my ninjutsu and my genjutsu. My natural releases include fire, water and wind. I am proficient in taijutsu and my chakra control as well."

"So basically, everything." The dry comment goes ignored by everyone else.

"My weakness lies in my strength," Itachi continues, "I don't have many hobbies, but I enjoy training with Sasuke, my younger brother." He nods at the Jounin as a signal, who in turn, finally casts the spotlight on the final member of the team.

"So I'm stuck with a siscon and a brocon on my team. Lovely." The boy murmurs under his breath before looking up with a winning smile. "The name's Saizou. I came from the orphanage so no family or anything. I graduated last year, one teammate got made Chuunin and the other died so here I am. I'm a sensor, mainly. I know sensei was hiding in the tree in two o'clock position, third tree from the one that has the weird roots. I haven't learned nature transformations yet and I can't do genjutsu. I use senbons but I can work with most weapons." He shrugs before adding with cheek. "I like hitting on girls in my free time, does that count as a hobby?"

Saizou's words brings half a smirk on their teacher's lips, she narrows her eyes slightly at the boy but doesn't say anything. She turns instead, to look at the rest of the team, her gaze going from one to another. "My name is Kosuke, Anyama Kosuke. I will be your Jounin instructor."

"Kosuke-sensei, you're ANBU aren't you?" Saizou asks, a gleam in his eyes. Kazu almost expects Kosuke to be angered or irritated at Saizou's interruption but she doesn't. Instead, she seems impressed, her eyes imploring him to elaborate on his reasoning. "It's the way you hide," Saizou explains with another casual shrug, "I know the way ANBU hide, they hang around at the orphanage a lot. It's either ANBU or enemies, and I don't think you're hostile are you, sensei?"

"Yes, I was ANBU. And I will be returning to my post eventually," Kosuke confirms, "I'm on a recovery period, let's say. I gave birth recently."

The reply surprises all three of them, the shock apparent in the children's eyes, Saizou lets out a whistle. Kazu is the first to recover, offering his congratulations with a smile on his face. "Congratulations, Kosuke-sensei. I'm sure your baby will grow up very healthy." Saizou and Itachi also offer their congratulations after Kazu, Kosuke accepting the words with a small smile.

The smile disappears quickly, however, as Kosuke's face becomes serious once more. "I've already mentioned, but this team is different from usual genin teams. I will be returning to my duties within the year so we either get you all to chuunin by then or we disband and you get sorted into new teams. This might be a little tough on you, Inokazu, but I trust you will be able to handle yourself. After all, you were made genin by the recommendations of Hatake Kakashi and the Hokage."

This comes as news to Kazu, his eyes widening. "Kakashi did?"

"He didn't tell you?" Kosuke raises her eyebrows. Kazu shakes his head, earning a subtle hum from Kosuke. "In any case, you will catch up to your teammates." An order, not a request. "We will start with D-rank missions, but we won't be doing those for long. I aim to move to higher rank missions soon. We will start tomorrow. Meet me in front of the administrative building at eight in the morning."

"Yes, sensei," is their collective response.

Kosuke nods in approval, "then you are all dismissed for the day. I will suggest you work on getting to know your teammates if not today, then eventually." She disappears immediately after, one moment she was there, the next she's gone. Kazu blinks because there isn't even a breeze that signals her departure, or a flurry of leaves, or the rustling of the grass under her feet.

"Well then, sensei said to get to know each other," Saizou begins, stretching his arms and crossing them behind his head. "Shall we go get something to eat, share some life stories, make a blood pact and then swear as blood brothers?"

The sarcasm in Saizou's words clearly puzzles Itachi, the Uchiha looking slightly perplexed as Saizou grins at him. Kazu can't help but chuckle. It evolves into a laugh, a melodic ring that echoes in the training grounds. Kazu doesn't remember the last time he has laughed out loud. Saizou joins in the laughter, Itachi regarding the two of them weirdly.

"We can get dango, Itachi." He drops the suffix, because they're teammates now. Kazu offers a smile, seeing the twinkle in Itachi's eyes at the mention of 'dango' and knowing that he laid the right bait.

Saizou shifts his gaze between the two of them, eyebrows raised. He supposes he'll just have to ask about that over dango. He lets out a soft groan, reminding the other two of his presence. "I'm hungry, let's just go." He doesn't wait before he begins walking, the rustling sound of activity behind him being the only sign that his companions are coming along.

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 **A/N:** I will be away for the holidays so I thought I would get this up even though I only updated a few days ago. The next update won't be till January so _Merry (early) Christmas and an (early) Happy New Year_ to all my readers.

Let me know your thoughts on the bit between Kakashi and the Hokage which is more third person omniscient than third person point of view that I've been writing. Do you want to just stick with Kazu or do you want to know more of what goes on outside of his little bubble? Drop me a review or a PM!

Kosuke is a canon-ish character that hasn't appeared in the story other than brief mentions, with no name or personality attached so I made one up for her. Props to those who may or may not notice the reference. (It'll be revealed eventually anyways.) Saizou is just an OC because I need someone to point out how dysfunctional Kazu and Itachi are.


	5. Splinter

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Kazu can't make out the scenery very well on the screen, the edges are blurred, distorted like a fish eye camera. She sits alone in the center of the frame, a piece of leaf in between her fingers. Her gaze is blank as she lifts it to her mouth, rests it softly against her lips and begin to play. It's a simple tune, one that Kazu has never heard before, slow and wistful.

There are no chords, the melody going up and down the _octave_ in _legato_ and _diminuendo_. Kazu has never heard of the words, but the meanings swirl in his head as she gives him a smile.

"My father taught me that," she whispers softly. She's sitting on a high-chair this time, while he's on the floor, and he cranes his neck to look up at her. Her legs dangle off the side of the chair, the layered dress cascading off the sides. "Do you want to learn?"

Kazu opens his mouth to reply but, as usual, no sound comes out. He nods instead and she giggles, waving her hands. A leaf rests in his palm, perfectly cut, firm on the sides but pliable. It's a common fig leaf, though Kazu has never held one before. They don't grow in Konoha.

She teaches him how to fit his lips around the leaf, the best way to blow so that the perfect sound will come out of it. It takes Kazu a while. Eventually he manages a sound. She squeals as he does, more excited than him at his success. She teaches him a tune, it's a simple tune but it's different from she plays in the memory.

This tune, he has heard before. He has heard this tune many times, like background music to a video, in his dreams, nightmares, the memories that plague him. Her favourite tune, he figures.

He plays it all night, the same notes, over and over again, learning how to manipulate it, to recognise the notes, swap between them, link them together. When he finally manages a tune, albeit broken, with pauses, spluttering and saliva everywhere, she gives him a smile.

And then she shows him, the smooth, elegant way it's meant to be played. The fluid and gentle music echoing in the vast emptiness, a delicate harmony whispering in his ears.

He doesn't scream that night, doesn't wake up in the morning with his throat aching. He feels rested, well and proper, for the first time in years.

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He doesn't manage to find a fig tree, but he eventually finds an alternative amongst the many different trees in Konoha. He carries a leaf in his pocket constantly, whipping it out to practice whenever he has the chance.

He has many. Life as a genin is not very busy, Kazu's days split between D-rank missions or training.

'D-rank mission' is a glorified term for doing chores and undesirable jobs for other people. Kazu learns that pretty quick, spending hours and hours carrying out mundane tasks that are, sometimes, not the most dignified work. He finds, however, that he quite enjoys them. It's easy, it's simple and most importantly, it pays well.

Training sessions with his team on the other hand, is a tougher grind than Kazu was prepared for. Kosuke is a slave driver. It also doesn't help that the difference between Kazu and his other two teammates is clear as day. Kazu isn't bad, far from it, but compared to Itachi and Saizou, he has much to learn. Itachi has two years of experience under his belt on top of his prodigious reputation, Saizou has one year.

Kazu's only practical experience outside of the academy consists of sparring with Kakashi. Once.

He was the top of his class, average in the graduating class, now lowest in his genin team. If he says he isn't disappointed about it, he'll be lying through his teeth. He hates it, but he also has to accept it. It serves a motivation, another reason for him to train tirelessly.

Kazu grits his teeth and push through, determination and sheer conviction pushing him through.

As much as he tries, however, it's still not enough. Not when Itachi is a nigh untouchable on his pedestal, cheating with his Sharingan. Not when Saizou plays the fool while proving himself to be anything but, possessing a natural talent honed through practice for stealth and perception. Not when Kosuke places enough pressure and expectation on him to crush his shoulders and break his back.

Frustration doesn't begin to describe the resentment that builds up inside Kazu - annoyance, irritation and displeasure.

All of it directed at no one but himself.

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The wind blows, carrying the soft scent of summer, immersing in hints of daisy, peonies and the musky scent of pine. The sun is hanging high in the air, the soft rays filtering through the leaves, breaking through the shade, catching the end of Kazu's soft, pale hair and making it glow.

He's sitting in one of the training grounds, the first empty one he could find, with his back against the tree trunk and a book open in his lap. His fingers play idly with the leaf in his hand which he has begun using as a bookmark.

When he first started playing the leaf whistle, he changed constantly between leaves. But he's slowly getting better and the same leaf can last him quite some time now. He stopped getting too much saliva on it.

He senses the presence long before he sees the shadow of a figure cast over his book. Saizou has taught him some tricks and Kazu begins to figure out chakra signatures, committing them to memory as well as picking up other informations that improves his sensory skills and deductions.

He figures, thirty-two kilometers before they arrive, that his visitor is Hatake Kakashi.

"I see your mission went smoothly," Kazu says without looking up, picking up on the faintest of sounds as Kakashi lands on the ground.

Kakashi shrugs. "And I see you're still completely withdrawn from society. Where are your teammates?"

"I don't know," Kazu replies indifferently.

Kakashi sighs, shaking his head. "I'm hungry, have you eaten?"

It's at this question that Kazu looks up from his book. He doesn't realise that it's past noon until he sees the position of the sun, standing high in the sky. Early afternoon, probably, just past one o'clock.

"Depends, are you treating?"

"Yes. I haven't congratulated your graduation yet, have I?"

The leaf slips between Kazu's fingers and flutters onto the pages as Kazu stares, mouth hanging and dumbfounded. "Really?"

"Yes."

Kazu grins at that, fixing the leaf in between the pages and shutting his book. "Then no, I haven't eaten yet. " He puts away the book, standing up and dusting the back of his pants. "So what are we having? As long as it's not sweets."

"Why not?"

"We have it all the time after missions," Kazu shrugs, walking away. "Itachi says no to everything but dango so it's almost a tradition now. Let's go somewhere else." He pauses in his step, turning around to where Kakashi stands, not yet moving. "Oh, welcome back, Kakashi."

Kakashi chuckles, following Kazu. "We'll go somewhere else then. Something more filling so you don't empty my wallet."

"I don't eat that much." There's a hint of a whine in Kazu's tone, cheeks puffing up in a pout.

Kakashi merely chuckles more, reaching out as he passes Kazu and ruffling his hair. "I'm back, Kazu."

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They end up going to Ichiraku, Kazu confessing that he has never been there before. He doesn't tell Kakashi, however, that he had been actively avoiding the place. It stars as the backdrop to many of his nightmares, with the blonde smiling kid and his friends.

It's there, at Ichiraku, that Kazu meets Kakashi's eternal rival for the first time. In person, at least. Kakashi has never mentioned the man before, but Kazu knows regardless.

"Kakashi, my rival! I see you turned down my invitation for…" Kazu shrinks in his seat slightly as Gai leans forward, scrutinising him with intense eyes. "For this young lass!"

Kakashi, on the other hand, lets out a tired groan, burying his face in his hand. "This is Yamanaka Inokazu. Inoichi-san's son. Kazu, this is...Might Gai."

A sudden serious look clouds Gai's expression but it's gone as quick as it appeared. Gai regards Kazu with a big grin, flashing his straight white teeth. "Hello, young Yamanaka! I apologise for mistaking you as a lass! To punish myself, I will run fifty rounds around the village later. But before that, to be able to invite my eternal rival out for lunch, I applaud your perseverance!"

"Hello, Gai-san," Kazu greets politely, dipping his head in a soft bow. He's not sure if he should rub it in, but he does it anyways. "I didn't invite Kakashi, he invited me."

Gai looks absolutely scandalised at Kazu's words, turning to look at Kakashi with a quick snap of his head. Kakashi waved his hand dismissively in response, setting down his chopsticks. It's only then that Kazu notices that Kakashi has finished his ramen already.

"It's to celebrate his graduation. Kazu made genin in March."

Gai turns his attention back to Kazu, beaming brightly with his arms open wide. "A new graduate! I agree, we must celebrate this new youthful soul ready to enter the ninja world!"

"That, is exactly what we were doing, until you interrupted," Kakashi drawled on dryly.

Gai completely ignores Kakashi, attention focused on Kazu. "You are assigned a jounin supervisor, are you not? Who is it?"

"My sensei is-"

"So what are you doing here Gai?" Kakashi interrupts, spinning around on his chair. He nudges his head in Kazu's direction, pointing to the bowl of ramen. "If you don't finish it soon, it's going to get soggy."

"Right."

Kazu raises an eyebrow at Kakashi but doesn't question it, turning his attention back to the noodles in his bowl. He's aware of the words being shared between Kakashi but it's hushed and soft, Kazu struggles to make out exactly what they're saying despite his curiosity.

If Saizou was here, he would be able to find a way to eavesdrop. Itachi can read lips with his Sharingan. Kazu's grip on his chopsticks tighten, stabbing into his egg, the yolk running off the sides and dissolving into his soup.

"Are you done, Kazu?"

Kazu snaps out of his trance, looking up to see that Gai has already left and Kakashi has turned back to face the table. "Yes." He says, quickly shoving what remains of his egg into his mouth, swallowing it and washing it down with the glass of water. "I'm done."

"I wasn't hurrying you, you didn't have to do that."

Kazu shakes his head and shrugs, but he doesn't say anything else. Kakashi takes places the money for their ramen on the table as they leave the stand.

"Where are you going next?"

"The library," Kazu responds, "we have the day off, sensei is busy. Speaking of which, Kakashi, why didn't you let me tell Gai-san who my teacher is?"

"I did? You're thinking too much."

Kazu frowns, not buying it. "So I can tell Gai-san about Kosuke-sensei next time?" He stares up at Kakashi, a dull, questioning look as if daring Kakashi to keep lying.

"No." The answer is resolute. "Don't ask why, I'm not telling you. Come on, I'll walk you to the library." Kakashi begins walking without waiting for Kazu, his long legs striding quickly down the street.

"I don't need to be escorted."

Kakashi rolls his eyes, "I've been told to keep an eye on you, make sure you don't run to the training grounds and kill yourself."

Kazu wants to argue, he wants to stomp his feet and tell Kakashi that he's _not_ killing himself at the training grounds. He doesn't, because he sees the glint behind Kakashi's stare. This is a battle Kazu won't win.

So he shuts up, sucks it up and lets Kakashi babysit him for the day.

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Update: he hates it.

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"You look terrible, Inokazu."

Kazu moans softly, collapsing onto the ground, lying against the grass and staring up at the sky. It's still dark, the moon having set but the sun yet risen. "I feel terrible."

"Still?" Itachi asks from where he's sitting, eyes trained on Kazu's widespread figure. "How long has it been?"

"Three days." Kazu says softly, taking a deep breath.

"What have you been doing all night? Robbing banks?" Saizou pipes, hovering over Kazu with a raised eyebrow.

Kazu rolls his eyes and fixes Saizou a glare that brings Saizou's intelligence into questioning. "Having nightmares."

They fall into silence after that, both Saizou and Itachi knowing the irregular extent of Kazu's nightmares. It happened once, during an overnight stakeout mission in the village. Kazu woke up the entire team with his blood curdling screams (except for Kosuke who was already awake and on watch.)

He explained the next morning, about his nightmares, headaches and panic attacks. He doesn't tell them everything, but he describes to them what hell on earth looks like.

"Here." Saizou drops something into Kazu's hands, the older boy squatting down. "That should help, just don't make a habit out of it."

Saizou walks off afterwards, heading to a nearby tree to train. Kazu stares at the little brown ball that sits in the curve of his palm, a ration pill. They're not easy to get, since of there are extreme side-effects that they possess, from exhaustion to reliance.

Kazu swallows it. It's bland, with a metallic aftertaste that lingers in his mouth. The effects are immediate; Kazu regains energy in his limbs, the fatigue and dizziness leaving him. He sits up, combing a hand through his hair and picking out the mud and grass that got caught up in it. It hangs loose just past his shoulders.

"Hey, Inokazu."

Kazu looks up, his hair-tie between his lips and his hand in the process of gathering his hair into a low pony. The "Itachi" that he mutters is muffled.

"Your nightmares…" Itachi begins slowly, cautious as he says each word. "Do they have anything to do with the man in the orange mask?"

Kazu freezes for a moment but he recollects himself. He finishes tying his ponytail, allowing it to rest over his shoulder, and drops his hands. He looks over at Itachi, their gaze locking.

"Not here, not now." Kazu says, breaking eye contact. "Do you have anything to do after our mission later?" Itachi shakes his head. "I'll find you at your house later." Itachi doesn't look satisfied by the answer but Kazu gives him a reassuring nod.

"I promise." Kazu says as he stands up, stretching his arms and looking up to greet the newcomer. "Good morning, Kosuke-sensei!"

Kazu feels Itachi's gaze stay on him for the remaining of the morning, even through their mission to weed some old lady's garden. Kazu tries his best to ignore the gaze, the guilt, the impending confrontation and the bile rising up his throat.

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The Uchiha compound is big. Yamanaka clan district aside, the Uchiha compound is bigger than the Nara compound - and that's including the Nara forest. Kazu has never visited the area before, clan grounds aren't public and there isn't any other reason that would prompt him to. Not when it's so far and out of the way after the relocation.

The gazes that he receives as he walks down the streets are borderline hostile. They cast him dirty looks, but they only stare, stare at the outsider walking down their streets, stare at the forehead protector that he wears.

Kazu finds Itachi's house without much difficulty, it's hard to miss the clan head's estate. Uchiha Mikoto answers the door and she surprises Kazu when she greets him by his name.

"I've heard of you from my husband and from Itachi," she says, gathering Kazu's hands in hers. "Come in, Inokazu-kun."

"Please excuse me then," Kazu greets as he steps into the genkan, closing the door behind him. "You have a very beautiful garden, my mother would definitely appreciate it. But I must point out that you're using the wrong soil for your azaleas. They prefer soil with lower pH. That is the reason why it's yellowing."

"I've always wondered why…" Mikoto says, placing a finger under her chin. "Thank you for telling me, Inokazu-kun. Itachi is in his room, I'll go fetch him."

"Thank you, Mikoto-san." Kazu bows his head politely. He stays at the genkan while Mikoto disappears to find Itachi.

In the corner, staring blatantly at him, stands Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke's gaze lingers on Kazu's forehead protector, the five year old taking a wary step towards the stranger. Kazu finds himself smiling softly, Sasuke's antics reminding him of Ino.

"Are you nii-san's girlfriend?"

Kazu blinks, goes over the words to make sure he heard it right. And then he laughs, a soft chuckle as he shakes his head. "No, Sasuke-kun. I'm not Itachi's girlfriend. I'm his teammate."

Sasuke's eyes grows wide in awe and he stumbles forward a few more steps until he's standing in front of Kazu. "Are you strong?"

Is he? The question stumps Kazu and he stands there, staring into Sasuke's eyes. "In my own way, yes," he says eventually, "but I'm not match for Itachi."

Sasuke snorts proudly, puffing his chest out, arms on his hips. "Of course! Nii-san is the strongest! You'll never be as strong as nii-san."

"Sasuke!" Itachi's chastising voice makes the younger Uchiha jump. "Don't be rude."

Sasuke looks like a kicked puppy and Kazu finds himself chuckling again. "It's fine, Itachi."

Itachi's expression softens as he looks at Sasuke and he lets out a sigh. He motions for Kazu to follow him, "we'll go to my room."

Kazu is quick to stop Itachi, "I don't mean to intrude. We can go somewhere else."

Itachi looks at Kazu pointedly. "Mother insists you stay for dinner. She says I don't bring friends over often." _This is your fault for coming,_ goes unsaid.

Kazu sighs, resigned to dinner at the Uchihas and takes off his sandals, muttering another greeting as he steps into the house. Sasuke follows after them, until Mikoto sees him and drags him off elsewhere, much to Sasuke's dismay. Kazu sees the smile on Itachi's face as they watch Sasuke get dragged away with a pout.

Itachi's room is big and empty. It's clear that he doesn't spend much time in there. His bed is made perfectly, the books on his shelves are stacked nicely. There is a writing desk in a corner but it's empty, the surface still with a shine from the lacquer, the chair looks completely new. The Uchiha clan crest hangs on the wall above the desk.

"It's not much," Itachi says, gesturing for Kazu to sit down. There's a table in the middle of the room with zabuton cushions. Kazu takes a seat and Itachi sits across the table.

Kazu lets out a sigh, close his eyes for a moment. He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and looks at Itachi. "What happened that day you met the man?"

Itachi goes into much more detail of the event than Kazu expects. His Sharingan blazes to life as he recounts the incident. Kazu watches as Itachi grips his hands into a tight fist, shaking as the Uchiha tries to control the turmoil of emotions.

It was during a mission. The mission itself was simple, escort the Fire Daimyou for his annual visit to Konoha. They were nearing the village gates, the caravan safe and protected. The mission was almost finished.

Itachi saw the orange mask first.

"Your warning came to mind immediately," Itachi says, eyes downcast and staring holes into his table. "I was immediately on guard."

It took less than a second before the caravan was broken, torn and destroyed. They managed to rescue to the Daimyou and some men that were in there, Itachi's teacher at the time - Minazuki - stepping into combat.

Itachi pauses, takes a deep breath. "We were protecting the Daimyou, so we expected enemies… but he was too strong."

Itachi goes on to explain how the masked man - Kazu knows as Obito - put the entire party into a genjutsu. Tenma and Itachi were the only ones unaffected. Itachi was on the edge, wary and he knew that just Tenma and him, the two of them alone couldn't deal with the masked man. So he asked Tenma to cover him while he went an undid the genjutsu on Minazuki and Shinko.

Tenma was dead by the time Minazuki and Shinko were on their feet. Minazuki and Shinko were dead by the time the ANBU arrived, led by Dog. Itachi described Dog to be short with white hair. "The masked man left just before the ANBU arrived, he just disappeared." Itachi says, "we accompanied the Daimyou back to the capital after that."

In the original, Itachi didn't undo Minazuki and Shinko's genjutsu. In the original, Kakashi arrived after Tenma died.

Kazu swallows, knowing that it's his turn now. He leans back, arms wrapped around himself protectively. "I saw the masked man kill… Tenma, the boy. You were standing behind him, and I saw the three tomoe Sharingan. That's all I know."

"You saw that… a year before it happened?"

"No," Kazu shakes his head, "I saw it even before that. I've been dreaming of it for as long as I can remember, amongst other things. I still dream of it now." Kazu is trembling slightly, the onslaught of memories whirring in his head.

"You see the future."

Kazu shakes his head again, wrapping his arms even tighter, avoiding Itachi's gaze. "What I see, it's different. It's not the future but sometimes it's related. Sometimes it's the past, but it's always the same things again and again. You can't tell anyone this, Itachi."

Kazu's eyes are almost pleading as he looks up. He sees the dilemma in Itachi's gaze, the turmoil as Itachi decides the best choice.

"Please."

"Okay."

"Tha-" Kazu's perks up, suddenly agitated as he hears something outside the window. He felt the hairs on his body stand up, the idea that someone overheard them a scary thought.

Itachi hears it too, glancing once more at Kazu freezing up where he sits. He rushes to the window and opens the curtains, the orange evening hues streaming into the room.

It's empty outside, the Uchiha garden staring back at them.

.

Mikoto calls them for dinner not long after that. Uchiha Fugaku is nowhere to be seen and Kazu is thankful he doesn't have to face the Uchiha head.

Dinner passes pleasantly. Both Mikoto and Sasuke are very welcoming and Kazu finds himself enjoying it very much.

The Uchiha mistress insists that he visits more, because next time she wants to talk to him too, about her garden and about Itachi.

"The boy never tells me anything," Mikoto chastises, throwing a look over her shoulder at Itachi where he plays with Sasuke. "Don't be shy, alright, Inokazu-kun." She throws her arms around him and pulls him into a hug.

Kazu stiffens up almost immediately. He doesn't quite return the hug but Mikoto doesn't seem to mind, she chuckles softly as she releases him, his face flushed red like a tomato.

A hug feels nice.

Kazu doesn't remember the last time he received one of those.

.

He bumps into Inoichi when he returns home. The two of them share a look, surprised. Inoichi expression is impassive as he regards Kazu, takes a step back and turns away.

"I'm back, father." Kazu tests the words on his lips, calling out to Inoichi's back.

The smile that Kazu receives almost breaks his heart.

"Welcome back, Kazu."

.

.

.

 **A/N** : I was so surprised at the amount of comments I received for the last chapter. Thank you to each and every one of you!

This chapter was so hard to write, it took forever. I wrote about 3k words into the first draft of this chapter before scraping it and starting on a completely different train of thought.


	6. Upturn

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Kazu's first time out of the village is on their first C-rank mission to one of the smaller villages on the coast of the Land of Fire, close to where the original Uzumaki village used to be. What remains of the ruins can still be slightly visible if you look out on the cliffs. The team is there to take care of a local boar problem. The matter sorts itself rather quickly once they stepped in.

Ino bugs him for the week after he returns, pestering him for stories and descriptions of everything outside the village. He's patient as he reiterates every scene, every event and the details, down to the very species of the bush by the road at certain points of their travel (sage and prairie grass.)

"I can't wait till I'm a ninja too, then I'll get to travel and do all these cool things."

Kazu smiles softly as he pets her on the head. "You'll be going to the academy starting next year."

"Yes!" Ino cheers, pumping her fists into the air, "and I'm going to be as strong as niichan!"

"Aim higher Ino," Kazu says instead, his gaze distant even though it's focused on his sister. "You have to be stronger than me."

Ino grins up at him, but the grin falters when she sees the frown on her brother's face. But it's leaves quickly, a bright smile on Kazu's face as he squats down so he's on eye-level with Ino. "Come on, I'll train with you."

All thoughts she had about Kazu's frown flies out the window as soon as Ino hears that, the grin back on her face, brighter than a thousand suns.

.

After their first C-rank mission, D-rank missions become nonexistent for Team Kosuke. From then on, the team spends more time outside of the village than in it, the duration of the missions varying anywhere between two days to two weeks.

Kazu's first kill is a small party of bandits. They aren't remarkable in any way. Saizou picks up on their presences long before they were anywhere near the team or the client.

It surprises Kazu, how vulnerable the human body is, the kunai piercing through the layer of skin and muscle so easily, almost like butter.

Kazu realises. Blood is warm. A sticky, thick substance that burns against his skin. The sensation distracts Kazu for a moment, his kunai lodged in the enemy's arm. The moment of hesitation gives the bandit enough time to leap backwards, out of Kazu's reach.

"Inokazu!"

"On it," Kazu murmurs as he fetches another kunai out of his holster. He follows up his attack, chasing down the bandit, right on his heels.

All it takes is a cut across the neck, the body falls limp in his arms. The weight of a full grown man is heavier than what Kazu expected. Kazu drops it unceremoniously on the ground, bending down and pulling his other kunai free from the arm.

Ninja tools don't come cheap and that kunai is new.

Blood drips from the end of the blade, Kazu watching as the red liquid forms a puddle on the ground. He's still aware of the adrenaline pumping in his veins, the erratic thumping of his heart as the thrill of battle takes over his senses.

"Your first kill?"

Kazu flinches as a hand rests on his shoulder. It belongs to Kosuke, standing behind him.

"I…sorry…"

"Don't stress it," she pats him gently, "take your time." She turns over to Saizou and Itachi, motioning at them to clean up the mess.

Kazu stumbles over to the side of the road, using the trunk of a tree to support himself. He tries to control his breathing and to slow down his heart rate. The pungent metallic smell drifts into his nose as Saizou and Itachi begin moving the bodies. A thought pops into Kazu's mind and he heaves, emptying his breakfast and his lunch right onto the grass.

Killing a person, Kazu realises, is surprisingly easy.

.

It's different because he doesn't see it on the usual screen. He's experiencing it, almost as if first hand. It's different from all the other memories he's seen. He can't quite put his finger on it.

The embers drift in the air like fiery petals. The Third Shinobi World War is a gruesome scene. All around him the sound of metal clashing against metal rings nonstop, blood covers the ground and all who remains standing, the rivers a murky red of rotting flesh.

He stands on the vantage point, staring down at the chaos covered in smoke, a grey haze that settles over the area. His heart pounds with adrenaline, blood seeps from his wound, staining his clothes, a dark wet patch blooming like a flower against the white and red fan. He's covered in dirt, soot on his face, mud in his hair and his clothes torn in places, revealing scratches and bruises.

He's not alone, the girl stands next to him, the girl from Kazu's dreams. She floats slightly off the ground, the white dress on her body pristine and she stares at him with her wide eyes, displeasure twisting her lips.

"Captain! The enemy platoon is nearing." He doesn't know who it is but he sees the Kumogakure headband and he decides it's an ally. They called him captain after all.

His body moves automatically, a feral grin on his face and a dangerous glint in his eyes. The kunai in one hand, katana in the other, he leaps off the short cliff, aiming for the helpless enemy platoon underneath.

It's night, the moon shining bright against the sky, a light source hanging above the sleeping city. It's laughable, how vulnerable, unsuspecting they are. Naive.

He sees the little girl sleeping in the futon in the room, a peaceful expression on her face, content in her dreams, oblivious.

He picks her up, slipping her under his arms, still until she stops shuffling before he leaves, trophy in hand and aiming for the goal where his backups wait. He's calm, composed, confident in his ability to carry out the mission. Compared to all he has accomplished, a kidnapping is mere child's play.

Perhaps he miscalculated, he thinks as he looks at the pursuit hot on his heels. But it's only coming from one way, and after confronting them twice, he knows he can get away. He just has to get further, escaping deeper into the night.

The green eyes are bright in the shadows, reflecting the moonlight, wide eyes that stare at him in fear. He smirks because it's a kid, the least of his worries.

He doesn't expect the haunting eyes to be the last thing he sees.

Kazu wakes up to a sharp pain across his cheek. Kosuke straddles him, sitting on his waist, pressing down on his legs. She has one arm across his shoulder, the other up in the air having just slapped him across his face. She gets off his body as soon as she sees him awake.

Her face is impassive as she passes him his water bottle, Kazu takes a long drink out of it.

"Do something about that, Inokazu. You're a liability."

"Sorry," Kazu apologises, "is it my watch?"

"No, you still have a few hours."

She leaves his tent. As it closes, Kazu can feel the seal setting back into place. He had the tent custom made, fitted with a seal that works as a kind of sound barrier that allows sounds from the outside to be heard inside but stops the sounds inside escaping to the outside. It stops him waking up his entire team and clients every time.

If Kazu was more awake, he would have thought deeper. If he was more aware, he would have questioned. If he followed that thought, he would wonder, wonder how Kosuke heard him and why she was in his tent.

.

Kazu leans against the wooden walls of the corridor, Itachi standing next to him and Saizou leaning against the opposite wall. They're outside the Hokage office, having just returned from a mission to Kusagakure, an escort mission that was tedious but hardly a challenge. Kosuke is currently in the Hokage's office debriefing.

Kazu is playing with his newest leaf, bending it around his fingers. This particular leaf he picked up during their trip. Kusagakure is home to an array of flora and fauna not found in Konoha, Saizou joking that Kazu finally found his 'natural habitat.' Kazu rolled his eyes at the joke, but it didn't stop Kazu from gathering an assortment of samples and plants during the trip.

"How long do you think they'll be?" Saizou asks, his eyes traveling between the office door to the two ANBU stationed outside. "Why are we even reporting straight to the Hokage anyways?"

Kazu gives a shrug, Itachi shakes his head.

"I hope we're getting a break at least."

"We still have to celebrate Itachi's birthday properly," Kazu brings up the topic, staring at his leaf. Itachi's birthday passed during the mission. They congratulated him but, given that they were on a mission, couldn't do much to celebrate it.

"We don't really have to…" Itachi begins, but both Kazu and Saizou give him a look that silences him.

"We can do it after your clan things," Kazu says, sympathetic and understanding why the idea of celebrations may turn off Itachi. "Just a simple get together. We'll get lunch, or dinner, eat something that's not dango."

Itachi has the decency to blush.

"We'll drag Kosuke-sensei this time too," Saizou smirked, "she can't turn down this!"

"She can and she will."

All three of them look over to Kosuke stepping out of the Hokage's office. The two ANBU stationed outside the door bow their heads at her as she does. She barely acknowledges it.

"But Kosuke-sensei! It's Itachi's birthday!" Saizou whines, arms spread wide in protest.

Kosuke shakes her head softly at Saizou's childish behaviour. "I'm busy. As are you. Our next mission is in three days, it's a B-rank." As soon as the topic switches to official business, the playful air is gone, replaced by solemn attention. "We will be retrieving a missive from Kumogakure."

"Kumogakure." Kazu repeated it softly to himself, crushing the leaf in his hands as his fingers fidgeted unconsciously.

"Yes," Kosuke confirms, her eyes narrowing at Kazu. The look almost, almost makes Kazu flinch. "You will meet me at the village gates at five in the morning, packed and ready. We will encounter hostile ninja on the way, so you should be prepare for that especially you Inokazu as it will be your first time."

"Yes, sensei." The three of them reply in unison.

"Then you are dismissed."

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Kazu spends an afternoon over at the Naras. He had promised Yoshino that he would visit and knowing that another mission is coming up, now seemed as good a time as any.

Shikaku is away but Yoshino and Shikamaru are happy to see him nonetheless.

"Shikaku will be back in time for dinner. You're staying, aren't you, Kazu-kun?"

"I think so. Shika isn't going to let me leave until we finish this game," Kazu casts a helpless look at the board, "and this game isn't going anywhere anytime soon."

Yoshino narrows her eyes at her son, currently bent over the board with a frown on his head and ignoring the conversation. She looks like she has something she wants to say, words building up in her throat but she holds on to them, sighing and pursing her lips. "Well you two have fun then."

Shikamaru looks up as soon as Yoshino leaves the room, meeting Kazu's smile with a shrug. He waits till Yoshino is out of earshot before he relaxes, lying down on the floor. "It's because you're here, Kazu-nii, that she's not nagging." Kazu only smiles softly, studying the game on the board. Shikamaru, in turn, stares at Kazu. "You still want to continue, Kazu-nii?"

"No. It's obvious that I lost, I'm just reflecting."

Shikamaru doesn't miss a beat in his response. "Right before I took your left _kyosha_ , if you moved your _kaku_ then you can promote it instead of moving your _kyosha_ and losing both your units."

Kazu hums in response, resting his elbow on his knees and his chin in his palm. "What if I moved it over here, and then supported it with my _keima_? And while that's in a stalemate, I can redirect _hisha_ over and break it."

"You're forgetting that I have two captured pieces already." Shikamaru says dryly.

"But there has to be a way without sacrificing any pieces."

Shikamaru doesn't reply but he gives Kazu a weird look. "It's a strategy, Kazu-nii, in the game. You're so weird. You never use sutegoma or your captured pieces even if it gives you leeway or advantages."

Kazu sags his shoulders, defeated. "I guess. So what do you want to do before dinner?"

"Nothing. We're supposed to be playing shogi so that my mother doesn't make me do chores."

Kazu sighs, smiling softly, knowing that Shikamaru is content with simply lounging around for the remaining time. He pulls out his current reading book, a text on advanced medical techniques and anatomy, and makes himself comfortable in the room.

Shikamaru glances over lazily, scanning the title of the book. "I didn't know you're a medic-nin, Kazu-nii."

"I'm not," Kazu doesn't look up as he replies. "But medical techniques and knowledge are always helpful. Especially since some medical techniques are of similar nature as Yamanaka clan techniques. And the same release."

"So you still can't do them yet, Kazu-nii?"

"No." Kazu sighs, "but at least through knowing that I can perform medical techniques, I know the problem doesn't lie in my chakra or my physical capabilities."

"But you knew that long ago already."

And to that, Kazu has no response.

.

Inokazu leaves the Nara compound late that night, roped into yet another shogi match when Shikaku returned. He lost that one spectacularly too, though Shikaku agrees that the handicap can be lowered to a sanmaiochi for subsequent games.

His mother isn't too happy when Kazu tells her he will be away for the next day as well. Given that he only has three days in the village, she had hoped to spend more time with him.

"Sorry. I'll be back by dinner and I'll stay home tomorrow, I promise." Kazu says with an apologetic smile, "by the way, mother, I'm going to stop by the shop around lunch time."

His mother sighs and shakes her head, "Fine. Take care on your way."

"I'm off."

.

They end up at Yakiniku Q to celebrate Itachi's belated birthday party. Saizou seems completely at loss when they arrived, staring at the grill, all the different sauces and the different plates of meat.

"I don't eat at restaurants much," he says as he picks up the pair of tongs. Kazu and Itachi share looks as Saizou fiddles around with the grill and the food.

"You hit on girls in your free time, but yet, you don't eat out often."

"Hey," Saizou shrugs as he smirks at Itachi. "I hit on girls, but I never said they return the interest."

Itachi and Kazu teaches him and Saizou becomes enamoured with grilling the meat, proclaiming himself as the cook for the meal. The other two are happy to oblige and pass all the plates to Saizou, who ends up cooking for all three of them.

"Do you think Kosuke-sensei likes yakiniku?" Kazu finds himself asking as he sets down his chopsticks, staring at the sizzling meat.

"I don't think Kosuke-sensei likes anything," comes Saizou's dry reply.

"She gave birth didn't she? So surely she has a husband right? That's something." Kazu says, to which Saizou merely shrugs and hums in response. "I wonder if we'll ever get to meet her kid."

No one answers the question out loud, the three of them sharing a look, all three of them knowing that the answer is a no.

"I hate children anyways," Saizou says with a grimace, "especially babies. So I'm happy with not meeting Kosuke-sensei's kid for the next decade."

Kazu remembers that Saizou comes from the orphanage. The boy has probably dealt with his own share of children and babies, especially after all the orphans that resulted from the Kyuubi attack. The image of the hyperactive blonde child pops into Kazu's head and he's tempted to ask Saizou, but he stops himself, knowing that it would only raise more questions than answers - it's not something Kazu should know.

Between the Hyuuga incident and warning Itachi, Kazu has made enough reckless decisions. He can't draw more attention to himself.

He changes the topic, not wanting to dwell on the subject anymore.

"Happy Birthday, Itachi." He offers, taking out the little paper bag from beside him and passing it over to the Uchiha seated next to him. Saizou looks up from the opposite end, raising an eyebrow but turns his attention back to the meat. "It's not much, but here's my present."

It's a pot of cactus. Not many cacti species can survive in the Konoha weather, but Yamanaka Flowers keep a few species in stock.

"A present? ...Thank you, Inokazu." Itachi says as he stares at the pot in his hand. The cactus plant is small with long spikes extending from its body, a small little pink flower sitting on top.

"They don't take much maintenance, and you don't have to water it frequently," Kazu explains, "just make sure you're not watering it from the top or misting the plant. You can either water the soil or place a wet saucer underneath the pot." Kazu goes into more detail about how to care for a cactus plant, where to put it and how to make sure it's healthy. "I couldn't think of what to get you for your birthday," Kazu says, "but I remember you asking about them when we were in Suna last time, so I thought I'd get you a pot."

Itachi turns slightly pink, clutching the pot close and staring down at it. "Thanks again."

"It's not problem, really. If you have any questions you can just ask me."

Saizou merely blinks when Kazu turns to him expectantly. He shrugs, waving the pair of tongs in the air. "Don't look at me like that, I didn't know we're supposed to give gifts. I didn't get anything."

"That's common sense, Saizou."

"It's okay," Itachi says quickly, stealing another glance at the paper bag with the cactus pot. "I don't mind. Thank you for the gift again, Inokazu."

Kazu's gaze lingers on Itachi, seeing the smile that stays on the Uchiha's face and the constant slight glances he casts at the bag. For some reason, he gets the idea that Itachi doesn't receive many gifts. It seems weird, given that he comes from the head family of a prominent clan, and Kazu doesn't quite believe that Uchiha Mikoto doesn't spoil her children.

Growing up, Inoichi took every chance he could to spoil Kazu and Ino, many of his attempts, however, were thwarted by their mother. It's a good thing, Kazu thinks, because while he wasn't a child that asked for much, Inoichi surely would've gotten Ino the gold-plated dollhouse had his mother not stepped in. Ino didn't even want it.

Saizou and Kazu ends up sharing the bill at the end of the meal, Itachi looking flustered as he thanks them for the meal.

Kazu finds it cute, but he keeps the thought to himself.

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The team is not alone when they meet up at the village gates two days later. Kazu is the last to arrive. From a distance, he sees Saizou and Itachi standing together, Kosuke stands a little off to the side. She's talking to someone. It looks to be a boy in their teens, slightly older than Saizou. Kazu doesn't recognise them.

He does, however, recognise the Kumo forehead protector.

Kazu stalks over to Saizou and Itachi, tearing his gaze from the Kumo-nin.

"Good morning," Itachi greets as Kazu gets closer, Saizou raising a hand to wave lazily.

"Morning," Kazu lets out a small yawn, raising his arms to stretch. "Who's that? We have a client for the mission?"

Saizou shrugs. "No idea. He was here already with Kosuke-sensei when I got here."

"They're coming over." Itachi's warning halts the conversation between Saizou and Kazu, all three of them turning to see Kosuke and the Kumo-nin walking over.

"Good morning team."

"Good morning, Kosuke-sensei," they chorused.

Kosuke gestures to the boy who walks up with her. "This is C, he's a messenger from Kumogakure." The three genins and C share a nod, each of them looking the other up and down. Kosuke ignores it. "We'll be traveling together. You know the details of the mission so I won't waste more time on that. It'll take three days to Kumogakure. We might encounter possible enemies from other villages after leaving Land of Fire boundaries. If we're ready, let's head out."

"Yes, sensei."

.

"If they're sending a messenger to begin with, why do we have to go to Kumo to retrieve missive?" Saizou whispers, eyes staring straight ahead at C.

Kazu follows Saizou's gaze, staring into the back of the Kumogakure ninja. C is leading the way towards Kumogakure. Kosuke, on the other hand, is following up from behind the group.

Since every member of the team are capable ninjas, there are no more leisure walks using the road. Instead, they're covering the distance by cutting through forests and speeding through the trees. They're making good pace. Kosuke said they would reach the Valley of the End with time to spare before nightfall.

"I don't know either." Kazu shrugs, "maybe the missive is the result of whatever they sent the messenger for. Either way, it's not really our place to question."

"You're right," Saizou murmurs, "but I don't like this."

Kazu grimaces, "neither do I."

What Kazu doesn't say, however, is that the reason why they dislike the situation is probably different. It's been a year and a half but the Hyuuga incident is still fresh in his mind. It was all covered up and as far as the public knows there is a treaty tying Konoha and Kumo into an alliance. Kazu doesn't know how the Hyuuga incident went down but there's no way it didn't make an impact.

Kazu only fears how much they know of his involvement in the incident.

.

They don't stop moving until they reach the Valley of the End. It's early evening by the time they catch sight of the waterfall. They set up camp near the base of the statues, unpacking and getting ready to spend the night.

C makes it a point to stare at Kazu as Kazu pulls out his tent, watching as Kazu sets it up while everyone else finishes setting up their sleeping bags and move on to other tasks. Saizou is tending the campfire. Itachi and Kosuke are on the other side of the campsite, going over the map and their planned route for the next day.

Dinner is a quiet affair, an awkward tension permeating through the team. C doesn't seem open to the idea of a conversation and it seems rude to carry a conversation in front of him without including him. So they don't.

Kazu has last watch, as usual. Kazu is a light sleeper when he's not juggling between nightmares. He was awake long before Itachi comes to wake him, calling his name from outside the tent.

"You're not going back to sleep?" Kazu asks, staring at Itachi's neatly packed sleeping bag as he takes down his own tent. He stores it back into the sealing scroll.

Itachi shakes his head. "I don't think I can fall asleep again."

Kazu glances over to the remaining three sleeping bags, lips pursed together.

Itachi picks up on Kazu's gaze. "Both of them. I don't know why either."

Kazu sighs and shrugs defeatedly, setting aside his bag and taking a seat at the river shore. He takes his leaf from his pocket, resting it in between his fingers but he resists the urge to play it, not wanting to wake up those still sleeping or attract unwanted attention.

"A new leaf?" Itachi asks, taking a seat next to Kazu.

"Yes," Kazu gives him a smile, "I have a stock of leaves now after Kusa."

"Good, so we don't have to stop in the middle of the road waiting for you to find the next perfect leaf."

"I don't do that," Kazu looks appalled at Itachi's accusation, but the expression warps into one of a frown and worry. "Do I?"

Itachi chuckles. "Just once."

Kazu moans, resting his face in his palm in shame. "Yell at me if I do something like that again." Kazu peeks from under his fingers at Itachi, watches as the Uchiha's lips twitches into a smirk and the smirk evolves into a smile.

The sounds of the waterfall closeby washes over the comfortable quiet that settles between them. The rapid rushing of the water in the river glistens under the remaining moonlight, the distorted crescent reflected on it. An owl hoots in the distance, the wind bringing on the rustling of leaves like a symphony, the same current blows against Kazu, carrying his untied hair into the air.

"You've been acting strange." Itachi finally says, "what's on your mind?"

"That obvious?"

"You haven't pulled out a book the entire day, and you've been gazing blankly all night."

"You're paying a lot of attention to me." Kazu teases. Itachi doesn't deny, staring at Kazu intently, the latter shifts uncomfortably where he sits.

"We're teammates. Of course."

Kazu doesn't respond to that, turning to look out the river, eyes focused on the rushing of the water and the sliver of silver swimming against the current. "Teammates, huh." He picks up a pebble off the shore and throws it into the water, it skips twice before sinking. He throws another one, this one skips four times.

"Are you just going to stare, C-san?" Itachi calls out as Kazu skips his fourth stone across the water. Both Kazu and Itachi turn to look over their shoulders, the blonde Kumo-nin stands a short distance away, staring blatantly.

"Take a seat," Kazu gestures, "They won't be back so soon." His gaze narrows over to the two sleeping bags still laid out at camp, the occupants missing and a mass of leaves and bags the only reason why it's still retaining its shape.

C spares a slanted glance at the same sleeping bags before walking over and taking a seat down next to Kazu. "Do your teammates do that often? Leave the camp in the middle of the night?"

"What are you going to do knowing that?" Kazu asks, smirking mischievously. Itachi nudges Kazu with his elbow, shaking his head. Kazu shrugs before answering, "Sensei leaves often after her watch."

"She leaves three genins to fend for themselves in the middle of the night where enemy attacks can be expected." C says, unamused at the revelation.

Kazu snorts, looking pointedly at Itachi and then back at C. "We're not your normal genin."

C opens his mouth to question but he stops when Kazu looks away, staring up at the sky, listening intently to the chorus of chirps that began deeper in the jungle. "It's almost dawn, we should clean up the site and clear our tracks before they come back." He stands up, pockets his leaf, raises his arms up in a long stretch, heading away from the river shore.

Itachi follows suit, walking after Kazu. "We're heading past the Land of Frost today, so have your outerwear ready."

Kazu lets out a groan. "I hate snow."

C sits where they left him, staring.


End file.
